Top Ten Signs You’re a Fundamentalist Christian

10 – You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 – You feel insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we werecreated from dirt.

8 – You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 – Your face turns purple when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but you don’t even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees!

6 – You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 – You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 – You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though excluding those in all rival sects – will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

3 – While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

2 – You define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 – You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call yourself a Christian.

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March 24, 2006

Amen.

March 24, 2006

Amen.

This is great! I agree, amen. NSI – Damien Knight

This is great! I agree, amen. NSI – Damien Knight

March 24, 2006

*loud snorting noises* Praise be to Will! HALLELUJAH!

March 24, 2006

*loud snorting noises* Praise be to Will! HALLELUJAH!

March 24, 2006

I showed this to my wife, who is a devout christian, and she laughed until she had tears in her eyes. But then again, she’s not a fundamentalist.

March 24, 2006

I showed this to my wife, who is a devout christian, and she laughed until she had tears in her eyes. But then again, she’s not a fundamentalist.

March 25, 2006

Sad, but true.

March 25, 2006

Sad, but true.

Lol.. Even though it’s meant to be insulting, it’s actually quite true..

Lol.. Even though it’s meant to be insulting, it’s actually quite true..

March 26, 2006

Brilliant. If this weren’t already in RC, I would put it there.

March 26, 2006

Brilliant. If this weren’t already in RC, I would put it there.

March 26, 2006

most of the blokes i studied with fit in here way too scary

March 26, 2006

most of the blokes i studied with fit in here way too scary

If this were about muslims you’d all be screaming

If this were about muslims you’d all be screaming

March 26, 2006

To the person who left the anonymous note up there, leaving an opinion without a name is really pathetic btw, that’s pretty presumptuous. Personally, I’m no fan of religion. I not only found this entry amusing, I’d find it amusing if it were about Muslims as well or any other religion for that matter. So who exactly are you including in “you’d all”?Lefties? Non-christians?Noters here?

March 26, 2006

To the person who left the anonymous note up there, leaving an opinion without a name is really pathetic btw, that’s pretty presumptuous. Personally, I’m no fan of religion. I not only found this entry amusing, I’d find it amusing if it were about Muslims as well or any other religion for that matter. So who exactly are you including in “you’d all”?Lefties? Non-christians?Noters here?

March 26, 2006

hahahaha.im an anglican (although not fundomantalist)…yeah, its pretty damn funny and i think alot of religious people would agree.hehehehe.

March 26, 2006

hahahaha.im an anglican (although not fundomantalist)…yeah, its pretty damn funny and i think alot of religious people would agree.hehehehe.

March 26, 2006

Thanks for sharing. 🙂

March 26, 2006

Thanks for sharing. 🙂

March 26, 2006

Herod called for the execution of all children under the age of 2, because he wanted the Christ to be killed, and I’m not too sure about the ethnic killing incident, but other than that….

March 26, 2006

Herod called for the execution of all children under the age of 2, because he wanted the Christ to be killed, and I’m not too sure about the ethnic killing incident, but other than that….

March 26, 2006

This was a good one. I agree. *random noter*

March 26, 2006

This was a good one. I agree. *random noter*

Yes… I do believe in God, but in a very private and unorthodox fashion; I hate organized religion and have on occasion described myself as an “anti-Christian Christian.” So I agree with this list very much.

Yes… I do believe in God, but in a very private and unorthodox fashion; I hate organized religion and have on occasion described myself as an “anti-Christian Christian.” So I agree with this list very much.

March 26, 2006

BRilliant! 😀

March 26, 2006

BRilliant! 😀

March 26, 2006

Gppd emtry.

March 26, 2006

Gppd emtry.

Loved this. 🙂 HathorOne (nsi)

Loved this. 🙂 HathorOne (nsi)

Romans 1:22 “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools”

Romans 1:22 “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools”

March 26, 2006

“The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it.” -Robert G. Ingersoll

March 26, 2006

“The inspiration of the Bible depends on the ignorance of the person who reads it.” -Robert G. Ingersoll

March 27, 2006

that’s ace.

March 27, 2006

that’s ace.

Om
March 28, 2006

#3 made me LOL. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

Om
March 28, 2006

#3 made me LOL. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

September 9, 2006

Ahhhh! You know me so well! Can’t put nothing past you!

September 9, 2006

Ahhhh! You know me so well! Can’t put nothing past you!