The tweet vortex pt 1

If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up cause that cunt’s a cunt.
5 minutes ago via Digsby

TURN THAT SHIT UP!
about 4 hours ago via Digsby

The merciful thing about being an idiot is that you’re too dumb to know what an idiot you are
about 21 hours ago via mobile web

It has to start somewhere It has to start sometime What better place than here What better time than now
about 24 hours ago via Digsby

RT @TVKev: So these benefit frauds Cameron wants to crack down on. Will they be made to say sorry and then let off? Like expenses fraud MPs?
about 24 hours ago via Digsby

Yay! I can has phone back!
Tue Aug 10 2010 13:31:01 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @carolinecheese Oh go on then, since everyone’s doing it… I retire from international football
Sun Aug 08 2010 21:01:10 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

SFX application sent. Fingers crossed…
Sun Aug 08 2010 20:00:32 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Hmmmm. To send negative review or not? Interwebtypes I need your advice!
Fri Aug 06 2010 15:38:31 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

I may just have found my dream job
Fri Aug 06 2010 12:07:04 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Good news: Mad Men just as good as ever. bad news: forgot how much I smoke watching it…
Thu Aug 05 2010 16:59:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

So, it turns out that the repair on my phone wasn’t actually cancelled. Samsung, you lying bastards
Thu Aug 05 2010 15:03:28 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

A hint for Sky: if a player joins his team mates, it’s not exactly breaking news…
Thu Aug 05 2010 12:14:33 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @BreakingNews: Federal judge in S.F. overrules ban on gay marriage in Calif.; appeal expected – LA Times http://bit.ly/cC9uPr
Wed Aug 04 2010 21:59:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

H as just lost the game
Wed Aug 04 2010 21:22:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Trying to research myths and legends of North East Scotland. Not getting too far though…
Wed Aug 04 2010 17:21:04 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Screw you BBC. Sherlock STILL not available to download on iPlayer #theyobviouslywantmetotorrentit
Tue Aug 03 2010 15:03:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Cool looking short story competition: http://digs.by/atfuI6
Tue Aug 03 2010 14:25:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Hmmm. Samsung have cancelled the repair request on my phone and I have no idea why…
Mon Aug 02 2010 17:03:37 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

“What claptrap!” A BBC audience research report from 1963, following the first ever episode of Doctor Who: http://bit.ly/c5HAMV
Mon Aug 02 2010 13:05:45 (GMT Daylight Time) via TweetDeck
Retweeted by you and 10 others

RT @BBCEntsTeam RT @calvinharris This is brilliant! RT @andrew_mueller Wikipedia synopsis of Warren G’s “Regulate”. http://is.gd/dY3LC
Mon Aug 02 2010 12:45:55 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Sweet, sweet nicotine, welcome to my lungs and blood stream
Sun Aug 01 2010 22:14:50 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Finaly finished my 24 hours of writing for @Shelter. You can still make a donation here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sun Aug 01 2010 18:00:28 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

10 entries away from finishing my @Shelter fundraising marathon. You can still sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sun Aug 01 2010 12:58:43 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Half way through my 24 hours of writing to raise money for @Shelter. You can sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sun Aug 01 2010 05:27:13 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

RT @AdviceToWriters “Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet.” Anonymous (via @Quotes4Writers)
Sat Jul 31 2010 23:08:04 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Currently 10 stories into my 48 to raise money for @Shelter. You can sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sat Jul 31 2010 22:44:38 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

RT @NTJohnson RT @rcjohnso: Good book stores make you want to read, great ones make you want to write.
Sat Jul 31 2010 19:50:56 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Finally able to write for 24 hours to raise money for @Shelter properly. You can sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sat Jul 31 2010 19:07:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Couple of hours late, I’m about to write for 24 hours to raise money for @Shelter. You can sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sat Jul 31 2010 16:11:46 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

This time tomorrow, I’ll have started writing for 24 hours, raising money for @Shelter though. Please sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Fri Jul 30 2010 15:13:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

RT @cat_elliott RT @Scalded_Bollock: The fact that the licence fee pisses off Daily Mail readers is #worththelicencefeealone
Thu Jul 29 2010 20:22:13 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Me! Writing! All day! Must be mad. It’s for @Shelter though. Sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Thu Jul 29 2010 16:33:36 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Me! Writing! All day! Must be mad. It’s for @Shelter though. Sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Wed Jul 28 2010 19:25:55 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Me! Writing! All day! Must be mad. It’s for @Shelter though. Sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Mon Jul 26 2010 19:10:10 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

August 16th I find out about a writing comp I entered. Wish me luck…
Mon Jul 26 2010 17:57:19 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Blimey! The new Manics single is a bit good. And by bit, I mean very. And by good, I mean brilliant.
Mon Jul 26 2010 15:03:03 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Me! Writing! All day! Must be mad. It’s for @Shelter though. Sponsor me here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sun Jul 25 2010 23:26:47 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @thekeithchegwin If an apple a day keeps the doctor away – Daleks should hide in orchards
Sun Jul 25 2010 17:22:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Sponsor my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sun Jul 25 2010 15:32:27 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

RT @whedonesque: RT @Syfy: Here’s a pic of Joss Whedon with a fan dressed as a TARDIS http://twitpic.com/28c2fi
Sat Jul 24 2010 23:12:47 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

I have questions, but number one is this – what in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
Sat Jul 24 2010 23:01:10 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Seeing as I can’t watch #doctorwhoprom I’m rewatching Pandorica Opens/Big Bang
Sat Jul 24 2010 20:31:57 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Sponsor my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Sat Jul 24 2010 11:56:57 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Christopher Nolan, you magnificent bastard
Thu Jul 22 2010 13:04:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Going to see Inception sooon. Can’t fucking wait
Thu Jul 22 2010 09:08:18 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @crazycolours Mobile phone Jesus dies for your SIMs.
Thu Jul 22 2010 00:19:48 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

A vampire film set in Boro? Hmmm…
Wed Jul 21 2010 17:27:00 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Sat in pub, I just witnessed an honest to FSM mothers meeting. Kids can’t have been more than one…
Wed Jul 21 2010 17:10:21 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Sponsor my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Wed Jul 21 2010 15:00:34 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

It really is saying something when a company has a dedicated CEO escalation department.
Tue Jul 20 2010 18:29:48 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @UselessKitten: @Markgatiss.Dail Mail & Mail on Sunday subscription (Discounted): £199.96 BBC License fee: £145.50. #proudofthebbc
Tue Jul 20 2010 14:52:13 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Customer service @TalkmobileUK style: leave customer with bank charge, offer to pay, don’t bother, blame customer, lie to customer
Tue Jul 20 2010 10:50:37 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

Don’t taunt the fear demon.
Tue Jul 20 2010 00:50:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Sponsor my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Mon Jul 19 2010 18:00:25 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

I have tasted evil and it’s name is Sol
Sat Jul 17 2010 17:04:09 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Customer service @TalkmobileUK style: leave customer with bank charge, offer to pay, don’t bother, blame customer, lie to customer
Sat Jul 17 2010 15:14:25 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

@TalkmobileUK have an interesting approach to customer service. They don’t seem to think that they actually need any…
Fri Jul 16 2010 15:32:56 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

New issue of @TerribleZodin out now. Fraturing writing type stuff from me! http://digs.by/a3RUTF
Thu Jul 15 2010 19:39:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Sponsor my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Thu Jul 15 2010 15:38:29 (GMT Daylight Time) via web

@TalkmobileUK have an interesting approach to customer service. They don’t seem to think that they actually need any…
Thu Jul 15 2010 14:21:42 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Going to be spending 24 hours writing to raise money for @Shelter. Donate to my madness here: http://digs.by/bV6T91
Wed Jul 14 2010 23:14:58 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Guess who’s back? Back again…
Wed Jul 14 2010 17:05:54 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

The time we’ve been stuck here, I could have nipped out for a smoke. Mind you, the time we’ve been here, i could have smoked a 20 deck…
Wed Jul 14 2010 12:58:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

#dearpublisher: blurb lets me know what book is about. This makes me want to buy. Critical praise? Not so much.
Wed Jul 14 2010 12:07:05 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Well, this is going to be uncomfortable…
Wed Jul 14 2010 09:51:03 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @neilhimself: RT A sad day for comics. @thebookslut: Harvey Pekar has died. http://is.gd/dpd44 via @saraivry
Mon Jul 12 2010 17:20:50 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

So, New Zealand are the only undefeated team in the #worldcup? Whoda thunk it?
Sun Jul 11 2010 22:18:16 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Can we not just go straight to pens and stop the suffering? #worldcup
Sun Jul 11 2010 21:21:38 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Is it just me or is this game a bit, well, boring? #worldcup
Sun Jul 11 2010 21:02:44 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Bugger. I just lost the game
Sat Jul 10 2010 21:54:21 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

I can tell it’s a local holiday in Aberdeen. It’s raining on and off…
Fri Jul 09 2010 18:11:07 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

RT @domjoly Since Raoul Moat seems to like orange shirts- I suggest someone keeps an eye out for him at World Cup Final
Fri Jul 09 2010 16:35:37 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Pint of Tennants. Been looking forward tae this 😀
Thu Jul 08 2010 17:24:46 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

No Treme love in the Emmys? Fail, fail, fail.
Thu Jul 08 2010 14:22:25 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

The potential presence of Bob Mugabe at the World Cup Final, puts the criticism of the Vuvuzela into context. #worldcup
Thu Jul 08 2010 13:12:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via web
Retweeted by you and 7 others

Why isn’t Steve McClaren doing commentary? He can speak Dutch…
Tue Jul 06 2010 21:03:11 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Fuck me, that was a bit of a belter! #worldcup
Tue Jul 06 2010 20:14:01 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

FYI July 5th 2010 is the date Doc Brown would have visited in Part I, if it weren’t for the Libyans…
Mon Jul 05 2010 11:49:30 (GMT Daylight Time) via web
Retweeted by you and 100+ others

Hopefully this trip home will be less stressful than the last one…
Mon Jul 05 2010 12:02:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

The more I see Tevez, the more I’m convinced we have found the missing link
Sat Jul 03 2010 15:29:51 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Shiny new donor card 😀
Fri Jul 02 2010 12:34:36 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Apparently, I have a new employment coach…
Fri Jul 02 2010 10:07:02 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Love the fact someone wants the government to repeal Godwins Law
Thu Jul 01 2010 18:51:09 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Fucks sake Aberdeen, stop hemorrhaging players!
Thu Jul 01 2010 17:45:00 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Laundry day, see you there…
Thu Jul 01 2010 13:42:53 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

You are a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know you disapprove of swearing so I’ll sort that out. You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!
Thu Jul 01 2010 01:36:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Goddamnit Starz, why did you have to do something that fucking stupid?
Thu Jul 01 2010 00:23:54 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

And Federer’s gone! #wimbledon
Wed Jun 30 2010 15:48:46 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

*THAT’S* what I meant to get last Thursday…
Tue Jun 29 2010 20:17:30 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up caus e that cunt’s a cunt.
Tue Jun 29 2010 18:49:19 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Must get video of this! RT @brokentv: BBC TWO, RIGHT NOW: Matt Smith fronting Orbital, doing the Who theme. Wow!
Mon Jun 28 2010 00:01:16 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @cat_elliott RT @grahamallcott: RT @danpalmer: England’s new football badge: http://twitpic.com/20hgo2
Sun Jun 27 2010 22:39:39 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Could someone please explain why I have the Prisoner: Cell Block H theme tune stuck in my head? #earworm
Sun Jun 27 2010 22:14:18 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

So, I take it Andy Murray is now British again…
Sun Jun 27 2010 19:26:03 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Well, you will bang on about 1966… :-p #eng
Sun Jun 27 2010 15:48:51 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

I actually heard the crackle ofthe lightning there. How cool is that?
Sat Jun 26 2010 21:44:31 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Well, that was a bit brilliant. Well, when I say a bit I mean massively. And when I say brilliant, I mean fucking amazing. #DoctorWho
Sat Jun 26 2010 19:04:51 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Screw download limits. I’m watching #DoctorWho tonight
Sat Jun 26 2010 16:37:50 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Cannot watch #doctorwho tonight. Anyone spoiling will be locked in the Pandorica
Sat Jun 26 2010 12:55:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Grrrrr! Somehow got the sneezles
Fri Jun 25 2010 17:16:56 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Gotta love a week in which I get three free books
Fri Jun 25 2010 13:57:54 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

#FF Tees types pt2: @cat_elliott, @c64glen, @TeesTweets, @nikkih77, @mazzamorgan, @eyeswideshut75
Fri Jun 25 2010 13:32:38 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

#FF Tees types pt 1: @litfestival, @filiem, @ChrisFooteWood @stocktonfringe
Fri Jun 25 2010 13:32:00 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

No, in your Endo #jpn #den #worldcup #couldn’tresistsorry
Thu Jun 24 2010 20:04:24 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Well done Isner but feel a bit sorry for Mahut. Nice that both and umpire got memnto
Thu Jun 24 2010 16:57:48 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Sod it. Make them play Monopoly to decide the winner. It’ll be quicker… #wimbledon #isnervmahut
Thu Jun 24 2010 16:39:23 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

So, the epic match of epicness has resumed. Better get comfy… #wimbledon
Thu Jun 24 2010 15:56:28 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

4 more trips to dentist. Get falsies. Never, ever return to that hellhole place of torture
Thu Jun 24 2010 15:02:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Were you queuing outside a shop today for a phone? Then there’s something else you need to get, much more desperately. It’s called a life
Thu Jun 24 2010 12:51:04 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

This is the game that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends… #wimbledon
Wed Jun 23 2010 21:12:15 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

GRRRRR! Fucking Talk mobile send my account overdrawn then being fucking useless when I phoned about it…
Wed Jun 23 2010 13:35:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Fuck me! A #budget that leaves fags alone? Except VAT rise, obviously
Tue Jun 22 2010 13:22:54 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @scripped: Search for “World Cup” on Google and scroll to the bottom of the page… http://fb.me/zaSH3BER
Mon Jun 21 2010 23:29:18 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

England team visit an orphanage in cape Town ‘it was heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope’ said Jamal aged 6
Mon Jun 21 2010 13:05:23 (GMT Daylight Time) via web
Retweeted by you and 22 others

My #twitter age is 505 days 4 hours 28 minutes 42 seconds. Find out yours at http://twitter.seocoder.org/ #twittertime
Sun Jun 20 2010 23:35:36 (GMT Daylight Time) via Small Useful Utilites

Just worked out that a zombie can’t high five
Sun Jun 20 2010 00:57:58 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Got wierdly excited when I realised that level is a palindrome #uncurablegeek
Sat Jun 19 2010 20:58:16 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Well, that was slightly on the side of fucking awesome! #drwho
Sat Jun 19 2010 19:48:53 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

#doctorwho and beer. Doesn’t get much better
Sat Jun 19 2010 18:53:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Are #Aus the most tattooed team at #worldcup?
Sat Jun 19 2010 16:24:21 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

How the hell was that a red card? It was blatent ball to hand.
Sat Jun 19 2010 15:33:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Is it just me or are ITV not very good at this live football broadcasting lark?
Sat Jun 19 2010 14:05:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

If you are trying to avoid the England score this evening, make sure you are watching on ITV HD.
Fri Jun 18 2010 17:17:36 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Well, that went well I thought…
Thu Jun 17 2010 18:17:20 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

A couple of hours and I’ll be getting grilled…
Thu Jun 17 2010 14:36:22 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Not particularly looking forward to being uncomfortalbe tomorrow…
Wed Jun 16 2010 17:50:56 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @pauljchambers No-one expects the Spanish capitulation! #worldcup
Wed Jun 16 2010 16:13:59 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Vuvuzela ring tone? That’ll do nicely…
Wed Jun 16 2010 01:54:40 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Party Down=the best comedy you’re not watching
Tue Jun 15 2010 21:58:09 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Frak me! Did I just see George Takei advertising a telly?
Tue Jun 15 2010 17:57:46 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Incredibly happy for the families, but it really should not have taken so fucking long. #bloodysunday
Tue Jun 15 2010 16:21:30 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

#eng fans: admit your band can be annoying. THEN complain about #vuvuzelas
Tue Jun 15 2010 15:40:21 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Hey Wife, Hey Boy #wifesongs
Mon Jun 14 2010 12:17:32 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

RT @Glinner RT @georgelazenby: THIS IS A MIRROR YOU ARE A WRITTEN SENTENCE
Sun Jun 13 2010 13:06:23 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

COME ON YOU REF!
Sat Jun 12 2010 19:25:12 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

A goal for all Africa. Really? Really? #worldcup #itvhyperbole
Fri Jun 11 2010 16:23:15 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Is there a Will Forbes ex-girlfriend convention in town or summat?
Fri Jun 11 2010 15:50:30 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Job interview for the Arc? That’ll do nicely, thank you very much.
Fri Jun 11 2010 14:18:54 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Bit disconcerting to go to make a dentist appointment just to discover you already apparently have one…
Thu Jun 10 2010 15:14:14 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Going to keep some money aside to celebrate England losing on Saturday…
Thu Jun 10 2010 12:47:14 (GMT Daylight Time) via Digsby

Currently watching The West Wing starting from the start. It may take some time…
Wed Jun 09 2010 22:09:44 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

It rains on the just and unjust alike
Wed Jun 09 2010 14:02:09 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Pulse is on again tonight. Watch it if you missed it last week, it’s fucking brilliant
Wed Jun 09 2010 13:06:35 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Hmmmm. Think I may need to order a new bank card…
Tue Jun 08 2010 20:21:26 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Fucking amazing gig, brilliant day leaving fantastic memories #ragefactor
Mon Jun 07 2010 10:51:11 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Next stop? #ragefactor
Sun Jun 06 2010 09:04:08 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

Fun uses for a hair band number one: makeshift bookmark when you forget yours…
Sat Jun 05 2010 17:06:36 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web

This time tomorrow, I’ll be in London! #ragefactor #ragegig
Sat Jun 05 2010 13:10:38 (GMT Daylight Time) via mobile web