ARGH

So, just went to try and find out what was happening about my housing benefit, as the landlord is getting a little concerned.

Turns out that my claim has been delayed because a) they still haven’t set up the bit for me having moved house (which they only knew about three weeks ago) and b) they didn’t have proof of ID for me. Which they have never asked me for. Despite me having started to make my claim two months ago.

You read that right. TWO FUCKING MONTHS!

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

So, to make myself feel better, here’s a survey, pinched from Almost A Sarah:

001. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?

None, I think. I don’t talk baths, I have a shower

002. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?

Nope.

003. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator?

Very probably.

004. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink?

Beside the sink, yeah.

005. What would you change about your living room?

Nothing really.

006. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?

What is this dishwasher thing you speak of?

007. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry?

Nope. Never use tinned mushrooms.

008. White or wheat bread?

White. Every time.

009. What is on top of your refrigerator?

Not sure. Not had a proper look yet.

010. What color is your sofa?

Striped I think. (I generally don’t pay attention to these things.)

011. What color or design is on your shower curtain?

Don’t have one. The shower is surrounded by glass.

012. How many plants are in your home?

None, as far as I know.

013. How many candles are in your home?

Again, as far as I know, none.

014. Is your bed made right now?

I never bother making my bed unless I’ve just changed the sheets.

015. If you have a coffee pot, what color is it?

N/A.

016. Electric or standard can opener?

Standard.

017. Comet or Soft Scrub?

Yeahbuwhat?

018. Is your closet organized?

Hell no. Never has been either.

019. What color is the flashlight that you use the most?

Don’t have one.

020. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer?

Not much yet, but wait till I’ve fully unpacked.

021. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?

Glass.

022. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?

Never had iced tea didn’t come from a can.

023. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?

N/A.

024. Curtains or blinds?

Neither in my room. The window doesn’t look out to the street so don’t really need one.

025. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

026. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?

Nope. Can do, but no.

027. How many ceiling fans are in your home?

None.

028. How often do you vacuum?

Far less than I actually should.

029. What color is your toothbrush?

Green.

030. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?

Nope.

031. What is in your oven right now?

Nothing.

032. Is your microwave clean or dirty?

Clean.

033. Is there anything under your bed?

Carpet. The bed sits directly onto the floor.

034. Chore you hate doing the most?

Ironing. Which is why i don’t.

035. What retro items are in your home?

A lava lamp that I need a bulb for. (Actually, I have two, one doubles as a cd rack and I need bulbs for both.)

036. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?

Nope. Well, spare upstairs room at the moment, but that’s until someone else moves in.

037. If you have a yard, who mows it?

N/A.

038. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now?

Stuff.

039. How many mirrors are in your home?

Two in the bathroom, one in the living room and one in my room. There may be more, I’m not sure.

040. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?

Only money in the place not doing anything is the money to go see The Wicker Man next Tuesday.

041. What color are your walls?

Creamy yellowy type colour.

042. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper?

Living room.

043. Do you have a peephole in your front door?

Nope.

044. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?

Not really.

045. What does your home smell like right now?

Nothing.

046. Favorite candle scent?

Don’t use scented candles.

047. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?

None.

048. Who are in the pictures you displayed?

Don’t display any.

049. What color is your favorite Bible?

Don’t actually have one.

050. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen?

Not really.

051. Ever been on your roof?

Nope. Can’t get up there either.

052. Do you own a stereo?

Nope. I play my music on my computer.

053. How many TVs do you have?

One in the living room and my one in the empty room.

054. How many house phones?

None. We all have mobile phones.

055. Do you have a housekeeper?

Nope.

056. What style do you decorate in?

Don’t really have a style.

057. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?

Solid colors.

058. Is there a smoke detector in your home?

I believe so.

059. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one trip?

My laptop, external drive and my camcorder.

060. Do you know how to work your electrical box?

Yup. Just need to find it now.

061. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you?

Warm.

062. Where do you order delivery from most often?

I live just round the corner from my favourite take out places. No need to order.

063. Do you watch King of Queens?

Nope.

064. Do you use credit or debit more?

Don’t have either.

065. Do you have digital or satellite cable?

Neither.

066. Do you prefer candles or air freshners?

Incense.

067. Are you good at remembering birthdays?

Kinda.

068. Do you own any TV DVD sets?

The last 2 Dr Who sets (the first one is TARDIS shaped, the second has a 3D Cyberman head on it), Firefly box set.

069. What time did you wake up today?

3pm.

070. Chinese or Japanese?

Chinese.

071. Do you consider yourself to be “traditional”?

Hell no!

072. Favorite mobster movie?

Goodfellas.

073. Have you ever been to a comedy club?

When they had free comedy night in the union.

074. Do you screen your phone calls?

Nope.

075. Do you buy or rent DVDs?

Buy. Though i don;t have the money for all the DVDs I want.

076. Do you wear a watch 24/7?

Nope. I use my mobile.

077. What type of shampoo do you use?

If I can get it, Original Mint Source Tea Tree and Mint.

078. Do you get spa treatments?

Nope.

079. What’s your favorite condiment?

Ketchup.

080. Do you like documentaries?

Yeah.

081. Have you ever been to an IMAX theater?

I wish.

082. Have you ever been to a televised sports event?

I think a couple of football games I was at were televised. Oh, and a snooker game.

083. What type of toothpaste do you use?

No preference.

084. Do you like spicy food?

Not too spicy.

085. Most expensive thing you have ever bought?

My laptop.

086. Best new show on TV?

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip (and, yes, I’m aware that it’s been cancelled), Dexter, Heroes. Forthcoming shows: Pushing Daisies, Reaper, Chuck.

087. Do you prefer red or white sauces?

No preference.

088. Red or white wine?

White.

089. Hot or iced coffee?

Neither.

090. Cookies or cake?

Both.

091. Orange or cranberry juice?

Orange.

092. Cereal or oatmeal?

Neither. Don’t do breakfast.

093. Scrambled or fried eggs?

Fried. Over easy.

094. Flowers or Candy?

Candy.

095. Anklet or bracelet?

I don’t wear either.

096. Ring or earrings?

Don’t wear either.

097. Colored or Colorless diamonds?

Not really a diamond guy, y’know?

098. Framed pictures or photo album?

Framed pictures.

099. Firm or soft mattress?

Firm.

100. Bottled or tap water?

Tap.

Some more grafitti:

And the best forum based advice column ever: Ask Miss Austen

Will.

P.S. Please read my last entry and give me advice. Please.

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