What is your octopus going to do about THIS?!

 Scones are the enemy of mankind.  If there’s anything there should be less of in one’s diet, it would be flour, milk and butter.  And those are the main constituents of a scone.  No, there’s no egg in there – that would be nutritious.   Flour.  Milk.   Butter.

It should be terrible.  It should be inedible.  But it’s not.  It’s a scone.   

It’s like those giant styrofoam communion wafer things… rice …. things…    y’know… the things…. what are they called?  Anyway, they should be terrible, but I can eat like 80 of those.  Wait, no, 80 is probably just a pack.  I can eat like 80 packs of them.  Which is like seven hundred and… something something.   There’s something inherently wrong about that.  I get bored of vegetable soup but I can eat my own weight in styrofoam crackers.  Which is a lot, because they don’t weight much and I weigh….    I….        I think I should stop eating scones.   

Why do Iron Chefs make it their life’s work to learn to make highly complicated gourmet foods and graduate from French chef schools when scones and styrofoam wafers end up reigning supreme?   Where is the justice in that?    How can you believe in God when evil constantly triumps over good?

I think I have the flu.