Happiest Nightmare Ever (with gross bits)
I had a dream that I was Chinatown Ted’s girlfriend and we were at a party cuddling and laughing and then we were having sex and he was saying things that I can’t repeat and and and the hot water in the shower the next morning wouldn’t go hot enough to burn the dream memory out of my skin.
This is a very weird dream. I do not want to have sex with Chinatown Ted and you can put your life savings down that Chinatown Ted does not want to sex me, but you wouldn’t win much back because the bookie’s odds would be very short in deed.
Chinatown Ted used to work on my account, but then he moved to a different one, and then he quit the company altogether. But THEN he got a job with our client directly, and now we work in the same building again. We see each other, nod and say each other’s name without hi or any other conversation. I think he’s funny because he’s openly a prick to everyone and he thinks I’m ridiculous because I steal all the finger food at company lunches then go back to my desk to furtively gorge myself, doing little head swivels like an obese meerkat. Night and day.
Today I looked over and he was staring at me intently, and then he did the nod, but it was very a slow nod, and he didn’t say my name. So I tentatively nodded and said "Ted" and after a pause he said "spider" and then he went back to what he was doing and I went to the kitchen to throw up in my mouth. It was like he knew. Maybe he had the same dream too, and had a bath in hydrofluoric acid the next morning to try to get it out of his mind.
It was such a happy dream too. Everything was so casual and cheerful. I never feel cheerful cuddling up to someone. Either my back is sore or I feel like I’m choking or something like that, but not laughing and gay as I was in the dream. Original and negative meaning of gay, unfortunately not homo gay. Sigh.. I wish I was homo gay. Or robogay. That would be even betterer.
After that part of the dream I was cleaning chocolates out of a decrepid piano keyboard while a different boyfriend – luckily this time it was an anonymous dream random – was playing air guitar with a broom he was using to sweep up and annoying people around us. I could hear them complaining about him and I was so cheerful I was smiling to myself thinking "Oh he’s so funny", and then I went up and hugged him and we both twirled on the spot with the broom. That’s almost as gross as the sex part. If it weren’t for Ted’s creepy mouthwords it would be much grosser. I started eating a peanut chocolate brownie and my dream boyfriend – who had a very good sense of humour – asked me what I was eating and whether he’d be allergic to it, and I just started giggling uncontrollably and spitting brownie everywhere.
It was all fun and games until someone woke up in a cold sweat. Someone being me. It was terrible. I think it was because I watched a Hollywood horror movie recently.
LOL @ Robogay…I think it’d be awesome to have robogay friends.
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RYN: because… I have to make like 15 life altering decisions over the next few months while the severe health issues of a good half-dozen of my family members are up in the air in a way I can’t really help. I’m surprised I haven’t popped the cuff.
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Mmm, romosexuality.
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