rum and coke continued

so I am a little more relaxed today but I choose to blame it on the alcohol. Sorry to all those who read my entries for the language in my last entry. I was extemely fed up and just ready to hangyy  the proverbial white towel. Alcohol always makes it better but I know that will end tomorrow. I seriously think I need to be on medication to handle everything going on. I can’t just become an alcoholic. For one it’s not good for my kids and second it’s definitly not good for my liver. I just wish I had better coping skills. There has to be a way to make it through this. If there is one i haven’t found it yet. I know everyone is sick of reading my bitching by now but I have no other form of venting. I don’t know what else I could do. Every time I wake up and decide to force myself to have a better attitude, she says or does something that makes me wanna murder her face!!!! I don’t mean to be so evil. I really don’t. I like to think I am a good person. I don’t know what about her makes me feel this way. I welcome any positive comments anyone has to offer. God knows I have enough negative that I bring upon myself. I really need help. I know this is a life long decision and I need to know what to do to deal with this that includes keeping my husband.