i really hope this helps

I went to the dr last week because I really feel like I am losing my mind. Everytime I’m alone for even a few minutes I breakdown crying, even if there is nothing really going on to warrant it. Our house is a disaster area because I just cant seem to make myself get up and do anything other than the bare minimum. I walk around with this constant ache in my stomach. Not really an ache but kinda like the feeling you get if you’re in a car and you go down a steep hill really fast or that first drop on a roller coaster. I have that feeling constantly. I am pretty good and maintaining a calm exterior but right below the surface every inch of me is constantly shaking. I get like this every few months. Then somehow I manage to pull myself out of it. So, anyway, my husband finally convinced me to go to the dr after i snapped about him changing the tv station….the dr put me on depression meds and says there is a chance I may be bipolar. I’m not even sure what that means. I mean I get what bipolar means I just dont know what that means for me. I dont get manic. I dont make crazy impulsive decisions or bounce off the walls. I dont know. I’m just confused and she says the medicine will take a few weeks to work. I just really hope it does. I cant handle being like this anymore. Every time I get down its like I sink a little further than the time before. I dont know how many times I can pull myself back up…