Strange*

he logged off without saying goodbye… he didnt get on this evening.  He has to work in the morning (can we say excuses) and he and I had a fight today.  Well maybe not a fight, but he was trying to do two things at once and I did it back to him just to show him how it feels.  Not very mature of me i know, but he brings out both the best and the worse of me.  I have never felt possesive of someone before… its strange and I am not sure I like it.  I want all his time, all his attention on me… and I know thats unrealistic, but its still what I want.  I am also upset even though I know that I had unreasonable expectations of him.  I dont think he realizes how unsure of him I am.  I mean hell, if my husband feels he has to drug me to make me more appealing, why the hell would someone on the other side of the country want me?  But he doesnt, does he? But he says all the right things to convince me he does, and then when he is gone, then I start to wonder.  If he can conduct the rest of his life half as well as he talks, it would be amazing.  and its not like he boasts or anything, he just knows exactly what to say and when.  Maybe i will tell him about this site, let him see how I think, let him see how I feel… but probobly not, I am not sure I am comfortable with him knowing me that well yet.

Edit- Apparently he had a horrible evening and ended up in the hospital because of pain.  I guess I misjudged him, but at the same time, with all that happened, can I blame me? nope, I really didnt think it had gotten that bad, he said he didnt need to go to the dr.  Apparently things changed so he did.  Oh-well, perfectly good pity party wasted lol.