by now

Should I know how I feel by now? its been a couple of weeks, and the only thing I am sure is that he shattered my trust.  I dont know if it can be rebuilt, but I know nothign is gonna happen from here.  Maybe that is the only thing I need to know.   I am not even sure why I am going to try, but i feel like I should.  I love him, and that is the right answer at the moment.  By christmas maybe i will know more.  I guess i have to leave it at that for now.

Nervouse about the drive tomorrow.  I hate doing it alone, and its worse with soren.  I mean I know I can do it, I have done it.  But at the same time, I hate it all the same.  and this time i cant spend hours on the phone wiht anyone.  I wish I could, it made the drive go so much faster, easier.  Almost tempted to suggest things, but hey, i can do it.  Might stop and get a cd on my way out of town to listen to.

tomorrow sohuld be interesting if nothing else.