broken?

He said I couldnt drive him away…

I tried to break it off, I have tried many times in the last couple weeks.  He said he knew better than me what he needed, and he didnt believe that I could hurt him badly enough to drive him away.  I got mad at him yesteday morning, you know how I do, and I tried to leave, before I could get logged out he was angry at me for leaving, so I let him have it.  I said unspeakable things to him. I let all my insecurities come to the front and unloaded on him.  He went to bed… he promised me he would never go to bed mad, but now he says that that was an agreement between friends and what I said went beond friendships bounds so he owes me nothing.  we argued on and off through the day and I finally asked if we could ever fix it… he doesnt know.  He doesnt know if he can forgive me.  I love him, more than I ever knew you could love anyone. he wants time, and I cant help myself, if he is there I want to be with him.   I am terrified I am gonna drive him away and I am afraid that if I am not there at the right time, I wont be able to convince him how much I care. 

If I loose him I think it will break me.

What do I do?