The cursed light

Well, here I am. Complete standstill. If my greatest fear is that my life is not going anywhere, then it has been realised. Perhaps I’m going to miss out on whatever it was supposed to be, after all.

I guess the trick is to stop sweating about not getting anywhere, and realise that I am somewhere. Okay, so it’s a pretty crap somewhere.

But I want to burn up my soul fuel. I want a way to do that.

How? By being an integrated self? Being myself without all the unhealthy ways of being? I don’t want to live. I don’t want that. I want a way to burn up and die. A one-way, kamikaze ride, a mere passing grade, the fastest way to play the piece and exit the stage with no encores. I want a way to give myself out.

I have to bring the fuel to the surface, that’s true. I have to access the glowing molten metal. Glowing metal; molten gold.

Deve

June 12, 2011

Time is the fire in which we all burn.

YAH

Moving to a different place might work, to kickstart your life (not your kamikaze ride!). The great part is that you can start out with a new personality when no one knows you, I am not making this up, I am telling from experience and you can look it up I am sure. As far as quick exits are concerned, that is overrated since ts has such a terrible impact on your loved ones.

RYN about drinking, in Europe it is not taboo but that does not mean that there is no abuse. But I am all for no taboos

wingèd medusa

ryn: No kidding! I do think he thought it was pretty funny how I woke up, saw what was going on, and was just like “whatever, guys” and went right on getting ready for work like nothing happened.