Nervous randomness

I’m in pain and I’m being stupid about it.  The sensible thing to do would be take some progesterone, stop rushing around and try to seriously relax.  But instead I’m channel surfing (gorging on entertainment) and eating chocolate and halva.  Is it working?  Well no, no it’s not. 

I’ve been so highly strung I can’t sleep lately.  A new organic shop opened near me yesterday.  It’s the only one around.  A sizable supermarket.  I’d sent them an email last month saying I looked forward to having an organic shop around, so they sent me an invitation to their official opening night.  On their cheese platters they had the most glorious cheeses I have ever tasted.  And seriously, that’s saying something.  I used to be a regular at one of the best cheese shops in Adelaide, and tasted three or four cheeses a week.  There was this soft goats cheese rolled in ash – a white mould cheese that was so soft it was pourable… anyway, you’d have to taste it to understand.  I think it was from the Adelaide Hills. 

Anyway, I didn’t know anyone and it was kinda stressful having people ask me what company I was from.  I spent a while chatting to the rather capitalist assistant manager, and then to a reclusive-looking guy from a vegetarian magazine.  I thought the evening had gone pretty well.  Taste buds happy, mood happy.  But when I got home I realised that I was almost petrified with nervous tension.  You’d think I’d been in a hold-up or something.  I couldn’t even think of going to sleep until after 3am.  It’s totally crazy. 

And then I remembered it’s always like this, more or less.  Oh well, at least I remembered why I don’t like parties and meeting new people.  So, lets assume that’s NOT the thing missing from my life.  heh.  Let’s hope it’s not.

Right now I could believe that the real thing missing from my life is ash-rolled, white-mould, runny goats cheese.  I think I’ve replaced sexual fantasy with food fantasy.  Triple-cream brie porn.