Experts agree – slightly younger than Noah

The wedding was lovely, and I’m pleased to say that for the first wedding since my divorce, I didn’t feel bitter, scornful or begrudging.  Both the bride (my second-cousin) and groom are from quite extreme conservative Christian backgrounds.  Think ankle-length skirts, high prim collars and long, undyed hair.  I was fine with that too. 

But the one thing that completely threw me was this.  A distant uncle of less extreme religious persuasion gave me a lift there.  We were chatting in the car about his recent holiday, when his wife mentioned that according to their tour guide, Breton Celtic was the oldest living language in existence.  Having a bit of Linguistics background, I found this tidbit interesting.  "Oh," I asked, "how old?" 
"Almost back to the Flood!" she said. 
"Um… okay, I don’t know when that was.  How many years BCE?" 
"Oh, almost back to the Flood!" she repeated. 

This is a woman who, when it comes to adolescent psychology and school programs for at-risk teens, sounds quite intelligent and rational and quotes reasonable-sounding academic sources.  I just don’t know how to deal with it.  How can you throw mythological references into a discussion about linguistics, without even the grace to make it tongue in cheek? 

It’s probably a good thing this was at the beginning of the day, or I might have been grumpy enough to mention that according to most great flood myths, it was during the Flood that the animals lost their ability to talk, and did she suppose all the animals spoke a forerunner of Breton Celtic, or just the ones in Mesopotamia? 

Okay, now that I’m on it, there was one thing that struck me as a little off in the wedding sermon.  The preacher waxing emotional about Jesus being a bridegroom eagerly awaiting humanity, his bride.  Does that mean if (or "when") he comes back, we’re all screwed?