Dreariness

I feel miserable and pathetic.  And it’s past my bedtime.  My Gripes:

My grandmother’s computer.  It’s been crashing regularly all year.  I tried to fix it many times, as did my dad, to no avail.  Last week she hired a technician who told her the hard drive was overheating and had to be replaced.  I spent much of this week replacing it for her, and reloading and updating the software (over dialup).  Finally this afternoon it was finished, all shiny and brand spanking new.  She went to Hotmail.  It crashed.  Just like before. 

So I’m allowed to be depressed!  As for the glucose thing, the test came back Glucose Intolerant.  Which could mean that I have a delayed overreaction to glucose, or that I’m half diabetic, or several other things.  My GP isn’t interested in finding out which.  Fortunately, my naturopath is, and has so far determined it could well be a lack of sucrase.  Sucrase is the enzyme that breaks down sugar.  This would explain why I can handle fructose but not glucose or sucrose.  Anyway, it’s all rather technical and I think I’ll leave it mostly to her. 

My new desk still hasn’t arrived.  The deadline passed last week.  So for the second week I’m sitting on the floor typing this.  The monitor’s hard to see this low.  My eyes tire.

I don’t want to sleep.  I can’t sleep for hours, and when I do it’s a light dozing rough with noisy senseless dreams and pain.  Every night.  Then I wake up and feel guilty that it’s midday again. 

You know?  It’s all just a drag.  I’m just not looking forward to any of the things I’m planning to do.  Cousin’s wedding soon.  Have to buy clothes to wear.  Groan.  Need new outdoor furniture.  Blah.  Damned malfunctioning computer of my grandmother’s.  Is it a challenge?  No, it’s a pain in the arse.  I feel completely flat.  I have nothing to look forward to beyond the next episode of each damned TV series I’m hooked on.  Today it seems life has lost all its juice.