Don’t fence me in

I read a couple of articles by a psychologist recently, who reckoned the two greatest human fears were abandonment and entrapment. I’m not sure if he’s right, but I hadn’t really given them much thought before. I do remember my ex had a deep-seated fear of abandonment. It seemed to stem from his father leaving when he was about seven years old. Sometimes he unconsciously related to people or even organisations as caregivers who ought to be "looking after him". I didn’t understand it. I guess it’s not my thing.

On further examination though, perhaps fear of entrapment is my thing. I freak out when anyone asks for my number, let alone gets doe-eyed on me. I don’t try to make friends and fear I’ll end up stuck in dull relationships with boring people. I don’t keep in touch with old friends. I’m barely even googleable. The very idea of a traditional marriage makes me shudder. And as for the idea of a steady job or career – well, I’ve never had either and don’t plan to soon. Financial commitments are just as bad. You know, I’ve never considered the matter before, but I have a nasty suspicion that I might be a rather extreme sort of commitment-phobe. Huh. Fancy that.

I guess the writer was reiterating that old saying, that there’s two kinds of people in this world: those trying to break out, and those trying to break in.

As someone who’s felt profoundly excluded for most of my life, it surprises me that I’m actually the breaking-out kind.

oobi

I think most people who do feel excluded are those who exclude themselves, maybe? what are you afraid of in entrapment? being bored or stifled?

YAH

Maintaining friendships does take work and is important to avoid ending by by yourself. Best regards.

Deve

July 7, 2009

Commitment is overrated. Does Australia have a branch of the US “Johnson & Johnson” company that sells bandaids and paracetamol and diabetes supplies? They have invested millions or maybe billions in promoting the notion to our public that paracetamol won’t hurt you. “Doctors trust Tylenol”. It was so bad that when studies out of Europe started publishing negative information about thedrug, that the US news outlets used the overseas name paracetamol from the studies instead of translating into the US generic name “acetaminophen”. I was left wondering if the reporters didn’t know (and couldn’t believe) that Tylenol was hurting people or if Johnson & Johnson threatened to cut their significant advertising expenditures if the brand name Tylenol was dragged through the mud. I would not have understood what the studies were talking about if not for Open Diary.

Commitment is overrated. The people most interested in making you commit are the ones you should be breaking away from.