Toxic Friend/Guilty Conscience/Grave Diagnosis

I have written to no end the adventures of the toxic friend in my life, about us going to school, her talking to me and all the stuff she’s promised me and the money she owes me.  She’s popped in and out of my life in the last few years and was not that frequent last year.  Its just been an aggravating mess all around and I just smile and take her in.  I don’t know how much of what she said is lies or if its not.  I beleived her at first and then I have my doubts as to all of it.    She would tell me how she got married to her long time sweet heart and they have a child together but never once one her facebook page is her child or her husband on it. Supposely they have now gotten divorced and right now the child is living with him.  Never have seen the child.  More over he works for the oil company and makes good money so she gets a bunch but never seen that she has any.   Its trying and I as I said fully believed her but she has said to me she’s a compulsive liar. During times when I really needed the money back and have had people not pay her back too….as if that’s an excuse.  Fine…whatever.  Still haven’t gotten the money back, at this point I don’t even care.  Its most of the time waiting for her and the none stop excuses that followed.  She disappeared from May last year till Nov when she appeared on facebook about having cancer.

This is new…. let’s see where this one’s going. 

She told me the story how she wasn’t feeling good and didn’t want to do anything all summer and it got to the point were she was in severe pain and they took her to the hospital to find she had ovarian cancer.  The whole story with details. ……

I know my medical stuff……ovarian cancer is deadly….. by the time they figure out you have it, your chances of survival suck..
According to her they got it and they eliminated it and it was curable.  Few chemo, few radiation…good to go.
So Ive been talking to her most of the time and I thought okay she is not the typical person to get this and age and all maybe she did get lucky..

Jan comes, did go to her little birthday get together.  She’s got no hair, but then I know she shaved most of it anyway when it started falling out.   Other than that she’s doing okay but complains a little she’s not feeling good and went to the ER in our hometown and they didn’t want to deal with her as they had a few ambulances coming in. Knowing OUR hospital….. Yeah not surprised.

Few days later she tells me that they diagnosised her with brain tumors and a back tumor.  Again the DOCTORS tell her these are Isolated occurences a few more chemos and radiation and prognosis is good…  ummm not going to say but cancer elsewhere in the body =metasis  :not good.  Few days later…tells me lymphoma and that it was coming from the ovarian cancer.

I talked to her friend whom has been with her through this and she tells me last night her prognosis is grave. They are giving her about a month to live. 

I don’t wish ill on anybody.  I would never want anybody to endure anything like this. I feel guilty with the pettiness of what when on but feel a little jaded with all that went on.  I would never tell her that but my emotions are swirling inside me. They have taken pictures of her in the hospital and with the radiation mask.  I don’t really have doubts that its not true.  I feel horrible. ugh…. I just needed to write about it…wrapping my mind about it.  Even better is that they will not tell her this and have not posted it on facebook how ill she is as people are rallying around her.  I’m not going to post it either.Its not my place to nor would I want to know my chances of survial during this. Drug me up as much as possible.  

It seems amplified with my parents kitty is  not doing well either…I have always adored that little cat.  She’s just the sweetest cutest little thing and I hate see her become so frail.   They got her when I moved and its been a crazy journey with her but with her I can see how people become so attached to animals and she’s not even mine.