Things that Make me Go Hmmmm…..

 I had a big test on Wednesday and although I didn’t say much about it I know it is big and I passed it.  Its hitting me that this will be over in a month.  A bunch of people are going to interviews and such and I’m having a hard time comprehending it all.  I just don’t believe I will graduate.  I still have in the back of my mind what when on at the beginning of the semester and it bothers me.  I  talk to the other students and know what they have done in clinical. I know there are some that have done more and more often less. I know there’s not a whole lot I can mess up now and not graduate. Even the clinical practical I don’t think even if I do it  …video it. That Mr Naughty is going to watch it (unless there’s porn in it) anymore than I watched his video of him preforming stuff.  Still I feel like I shouldn’t since I had to do what I had to do.  I know I wasn’t wrong and I"m not bitter at the site..Maybe a little at the people involved as it wasn’t right.  The director of the program whom it was with him and the Dean I had a meeting with..is back to teasing me again in a friendly way. I know there are no hard feelings and its his way of letting me know all is well.  Its something we have done from the beginning.  I think every semester I have made some smart ass comment back to him and he would jokingly tell me he was going to take 5 points off my grade.  The other one …..Mr Naughty we don’t talk. 

So I have been talking to a friend of my brothers. I’ve know him for a long time. He dated a friend of mine and I know all too well about somethings. He sort of likes me right now and I know it.  But no I don’t think I could EVER …….gives me the willies just thinking about it. 
He was telling me stuff about my brother that was disturbing.  WOW!!  is all I can say…  not that I don’t know disturbing things about him either.    I mean both are bad …REALLY REALLY BAD.   I like it though,  as of late my parents mostly my father has been treating them better than us.  Its always you know what they are doing… they are going here there and everywhere…and we are the lackies. I hate it.   What’s going on with them behind the scenes is horrible if its true. I don’t know why it wouldn’t be  but I’m not getting involved and I’m going to pretend I don’t know.  I don’t know if I even want to write it in here.  It makes me wonder if anyone has a life without secrets. I know I don’t write everything in here.   I didn’t write why Dennis went "crazy" nor did I tell anyone why except those involved in his care and HIS family.  I know that even so they made the right diagnosis and that even if he didn’t do what he did it he still would have been diagnosed with it. Its just that on his own he would never have seeked out treatment for it even though it does affect his life and others.  Although he still doesn’t see it as that but he’s taking the meds. Is it helping..some.  More back to his normal.

I just can’t bring myself to type it. I can’t type it let alone do any of it….I’m so damn pure.  Its like I can’t hide my dirty laundry but here they are doing this god awful stuff that makes us look like  we are pure and innocent……

You know having a child out of wedlock… I know mild but you know….
Then the whole pych ward thing with Dennis  (not the reason  but know he’s now certifiable)
The one they don’t know is him being arrested for the middle finger but my IL’s know as he has a big mouth.

 Oh well C’est La Vie or something like that…..