Dealing…….

 Back again……

Went to Work, went to the hockey game. 

Exhausted, my mind going a million miles a mintue and feels like a million miles away.  More back pain, cramp and twinges of "hope" going down the drain.  I feel like its over.  It goes back and forth depending on what I find when I go to the bathroom. No gushes but more spotting , bleeding.    I don’t know for sure but I can’t imagine this not ending in total miscarriage.  However, its now been a week since I started bleeding…….Last Tuesday.  I took the pregnancy test Thursday…it was positive….Still bleeding 4 days later took another test. Still positive as of yesterday.  Its these new little twinges I’m not liking.  There’s more red spotting today.   I’m emotionally spent.  This sucks.   This is worse than limbo.  Hormone hell…  I did make an appt to see the doctor on Thursday. We will see what becomes between now and then.  Personally ‘m going for the worse and hoping for the best.  I"m at 7 weeks….. I know I should have made an appt sooner.. But whats going to happen will happen…  Been through a miscarriage before. Doesn’t make it any easier.