Vous êtes venu chez moi comme le vin

Tomorrow, we begin the next chapter. Jamie and I are officially moving into our new house tomorrow, and I will once and for all be leaving New Jersey behind.

I look back upon the years that I have been here, and its so strange to see where life has taken me. Not six months after I moved here, I knew I had made a mistake. Dominic and I were broken, unfixable. I met "her", and began what would be two years of madness. I swear to you, I knew from the start… I tried so hard to deny it, only to always end up needing her, longing for her again. I suppose you know that better than anyone, as it was here I divulged these feelings. I am so thankful for where this has gone, and that for once in my life something I wanted wound up being something that was also good for me.

In the interest of beginnings and endings, I got Dominic’s letter on Saturday. It said pretty much everything I had been told it said. One memorable line went something like "I knew when we were at the [Ray Lamontagne] concert that you belonged with her, and I’m glad you two are happy"… He completely acknowledged that he was a bastard. Funny enough, it was that night that I realized I was living a lie. I couldn’t merely install this woman I loved and longed for in my life as my best friend. It just doesn’t work that way. I remember so clearly sitting there mashed into her, smelling her. Looking at her hands, wanting them in mine, wanting them on me.

Because life has no coincidences, we are seeing Ray L in November at the Bowery. Something like 3rd row. Doing it right this time.

I have to say guys. I know you have seen a lot. I know you have seen everything I have gone through in the last 7 years, and some of it really wasn’t pretty… I just need you to know, this is a GOOD thing. I love her. I respect her. I admire her, and she makes me strive to be a better person.

Jamie, I love you with all of my heart. All these words I placed upon these chapters for you could never compare to the ones that lie within my heart. Words that aren’t spoken as much as shown, ones that I hope to show you every day.

Never ever let me forget the road that brought me to you. For although some of it was rocky, this wouldn’t be the same without it.