wow what a morning…

i was talking to S. at midnight and then he drove down just to see me yay:)!! we ended up continueing my sexual education… lots of talking… done too. and he left at 3am he got here at around one… by the time he gets home it will be time for him to study, for his test.. the poor man works without breaks which he needs.. i was happy to provide a early morning treat.

why does he evoke a calmness in me that no one else can? why does he make my bs stuff just disappear? I know i can’t have him.. and then its just like i do when we’re alone.. its like my brains already playing mind games with that i know aren’t true.. god… i would love to know what connection me and S. have up there because when we’re together its just like nothing else matters, and nothing should… i feel like i could stay in his arms forever.. why i dont know and i know i can’t..

ugh..

my rant is done now..