Sadness expands and contracts

I buried my grandma today. *sighZ* school was on the back burner because of that saw loads of family that i can’t remember their names. most asked about J. and i and it was kinda wierd cus one of my relatives said my grams said j n i are pretty serious and we are. i wanna be married to him now but he wont cus we can’t support ourselves all by ourselves. *sighz *  i am working on cutting down my spending habits but that hasn’t been easy.

School is becoming a major stress poing but thats typical. procrastionation is typical. Blah… i have to go about hunting for a bank that will take a chance and loan me the money for my last quarter. i just dont have the money. I am all out financial aide and school money. my mom n i can’t afford for me to go full time for me to stay on her health insurance. i want to go part time which is cheaper. but she is throughing a fit.

God Please send me a mircale cus i need one.

1) a place of me n J’s own.

2) enough incoming comming in we dont have to rely on anyone else

3) money to finish my schooling.

4) luck to pass my cisco certification.and to pay for the test

*sighZ* nite all