retreating back into my self

 i knew.. it i should have just gone iwth my instincts it was only alcohol talking…. god dam… How can i always be so stupid. i only here want i want to here… it always makes me so damn emotional n crazy. i so wanted to just die when he n i talked this morning because he didn’t remember any of it because of how trashed he was n i thought he was only slightly hammered boy was i wrong… damn… i can never be happy…. i can never have what i want either i guess its just life being its supreme bitchiness again. although i dont know how much more i can take before i just fall to peices n give in to things that i dont want to…

*sighZ* im gone before i cry again