losing sleep

What to do I can’t sleep. He’s running through my mind. I’m borrowing my sisters’ web cam just so that I can add some pictures the easy way. Is it infatuation with him? Why can’t I get him taking my virginity out of my head? What made me like this? Is this from our beginnings of our friendship that caused this. That was over 7 years a go. We can’t carry on a long distance fling we’ve tried that (when we were younger) so what do we do now? We are just friends and he won’t let me sleep at night his picture is going through my mind at a speed so fast his face is all I see when I close my eyes. He’s been my rock and the person who got me through my depression years ago. So how am I going get through this? Or do I want to? Is that the million dollar question Do I want to get over this feeling, just to find someone closer? Or to move on with my life? How the fuck am I supposed to know? Any suggestions are welcome but breaking contact is not an option.