i dont understand…..

My mom has been giving me shit about being in love with J. and yet shes upset by the age difference between us? i dont get it?  besides there was a age difference between my father n her… how can she be like this…And as things couldn’t be anyworse…. i deleted my phone contacts on accident yesterday n i lost my sweeties pager number n everything…n i was supposed to call him yesterday… FUCK…………………

And why does my mom give a shit about what kind of trouble my friends are in? she litteraly bitched at me cus i didn’t share what was going on in one of my friends lives…. well hell its none of her business what my friends are going through even if it upsets me. why does my mom have this duplicity to her? is it hereditary because i dont want to have that kind of duplicity.

*pulls out her hair n crys*  at least being able to see J tomorrow will brighten my days….he gets to stay for two nites YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i kinda wish i had my own place… again for him n i but i can’t afford it but  its all good n my roomies understand… kinda somewhat. *sigh* My bed doesn’t seem like its big enough without him in it… n i reall just want to jump him when he walks through the door tomorrow…. *sigh* but by the time he gets here it will be time for me to go to school…. *sigh*  n i have to work tomorrow n i only have one class… Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr n double Grrrrrr