how can i do this to me?

*dedicated to BT* every other guy friend i did this way

I look at you with stars in my eyes

you flirt with me but when it comes right down to it

you say no it can’t be.

I know i get in over my head but thats just me

my heart i can’t control because God’s guiding me

or so i think when each time i feel something toward

a best guy friend.

Then i hit myself over the head. When he says he don’t feel the same. I should have learned my lesson and yes i know their right.. but sometimes it just wont leave my soul alone.

calling to me in the night so i can’t sleep. Or never leaving my thoughts so i can concentrate on homework or sticking to a diet.

Each time its the same it repeats and repeats. how can i do this with every guy friend i either create an obsession or i end up ruining our friendship and pushing him away.

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I dont want to do that this time. so im trying. The gift i gave to him was a unicorn my mind held over heart because he’s mixed and im white. he will always mean much to me and i know i can’t lie to him.

before i left school for christmas break i hope BT knew i was facing a fierce emotional battle over this. Prayers appreciated.

love ya all and MERRY CHRISTMAS readers