From joke of the day email its a scream!!

Jokemaster’s Note

I was told these were actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale

3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Continued tomorrow…have a great Wednesday…

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Today’s Joke

Jacob (92)& Rebecca (85) are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding & on the way go past a drugstore.

Jacob suggests that they go in and addresses the man behind the counter – –

“Are you the owner?” The pharmacist answers “Yes”

Jacob: Do you sell heart medication? Pharmacist: Of course we do.

Jacob: How about medicine for circulation? Pharmacist: All kinds.

Jacob: Medicine for rheumatism? Pharmacist: Definitely.

Jacob: How about Viagra? Pharmacist: Of course.

Jacob: Medicine for memory? Pharmacist: Yes, a large variety.

Jacob: How about vitamins & sleeping pills? Pharmacist: Absolutely.

Jacob turns to Rebecca – – “Sweetheart, we might as well register our wedding gift list with them!