dispair is that what today is?

i want to be happy

but i can’t seem to get there

so how can i be pleased

if i can’t smile?

I can’t remember a day when i was carefree

i can’t remember where i put things, i could’ve

gotten published in abook if i didnt misplace the return

envelope.

My life just blows i can’t do what i want i can’t escape to a perfect little world. and just be my self. i have to be sad and lonely i just can’t be happy oh why do i feel this way all the time.

now that i can’t feel does my life have to seem so bleak? do i just sit and wait for life to happen to me?

i have suffered enough sadness. living with past memories is all i seem to be doing. and not trusting a soul.

I search inside my self for the light of the world and all i see is my belief in a higher being. and my sin of sins. i know i am saved but how do i serve the way i need to serve. if im not happy and functional as a human being?

….. i dont know just sort of poured out leave notes

hEY IN MY TOWN THERE WAS WAS THIS COOL PLACE OF DISCOVERY AND THIS LIGHT WOULD FLASH AND YOUR SHADOW WOULD BE LEFT ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU AND YOU COULD THEN WALK OFF AND SEE WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE .THEN A FEW SECONDS LATER THE LIGHT WOULD FLASH AND IT WOULD THEN LEAVE A PICTURE OF YOUR NEW SHADOW ON THE WALL .SORRY YOU FEEL BAD AT THE MOMENT.

YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY DIARY ANYTIME YOU WANT .TODAY I FOUND A DIARY CALLED HUMOR AND IT HAS SOME GOOD JOKES IN IT .IT WILL PROBABLY CHEER YOU UP .PLEASE CHECK OUT THE DIARY CALLED HUMOR .I AM SURE YOU’LL BE SMILING AFTER READING THAT .I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST IN EVERYTHING .FEEL FREE TO LEAVE NOTES IN MY DIARY IF YOU WANT .YOU ARE VERY WELCOME .

LET THE LAUGHING BEGIN .EYERYONE WHO CARES WANTS TO SEE YOU SMILE .

Hey….to answer your question…today isn’t only dispair, but HORRIBLE and just ARGH! Don’t even have a word to decribe it. I’ll write in my diary if I get a chance, but argh! Thanks for being so supportive! I’ll keep ya updated! hmm…cheer up, cutie pie! xoxox ~*~Me~*~

i know what you meen hun….i dont wanna feel this way anymore either…