Blindsided

Please read what a surprise i didn’t expect to be told and the following ones before reading blindsided. ty

Wow i never thought that i could feel like shit again. its gone from doing somewhat ok and dealing to feel like shit in a matter of hours. how sad and pathetic is that? *sigh* no guy in their right mind wants a fat girl who can dirty dance.

i have no heart left. when i go to school tomorrow im sure people will notice the difference in me. no spunk no smiles , no jokes. just blah. no hope not even a little. i never expected to be blindsided with the news that my assumed best guy bud would hit me with today after what i thought was a fun little excursion we had as FRIENDS. i didn’t really expect much from but to strengthen our friendship. and i get the news he has a girlfriend. why couldn’t he tell me ? was i that unapproachable about it. im mad because he didn’t tell. i mean i was honest to god telling him how i felt about to his face or rather through aim because he’s always surrounded by his friends. and he couldn’t even bother to tell me he was interested in someone else? if he had i wouldn’t be in such a mess and my heart could at least take some of the pain.

now i have no heart , no hope and no tomorrow life is blank as when Josh lamb died. See june 12 01 entry. just like then eventually i made a comeback but now i dont knwo. when he told me it was like some cut my heart from my soul. my lifeline was just cut now what am i to do. who knows not i