3/28/03

im crazy… all i wanted to do this weekend was get my sis’s car. and see S. he calls @10:50 and im like im ready to crash…. WHY?? all i want is him in my life.. was it because i was all ready for bed. and i’d have to have changed my clothes? or was it because i wanted to be curteous to my mom. because of her mass, on her neck, that could be canceours and just stay in..

*Cries* i was so tired when he called, now im wide awake and can’t sleep.. is this how it always is when u want something u can’t have.. or have… but can’t keep the context straight..

im losing my mind im becomming schizoid.

losing control on my reality. maybe paying attention to a higher power tonight saved my life.. or made it worse. but i know i shouldn’t have been on the road..

God,

Please help me.. relieve my stress, worries, and problems..

Guide me on my path of pain and heartache tahts been chosen for me.

just don’t let my mom have cancer.

Amens..