12/20/03

Wow, i came home to my mom’s to work on her puter  but instead my mom lets me Call S. and he comes n pics me up and we go back to his place for some loving  yay god.. i love it when i have the power to drive him crazy… that he cums quickly n then goes for so much longer the second time around… ( wait is this TMI? like i care its my diary.)  God *sigh* such a speciman of Maleness… hes growing his winter beard… oh my god… he looks so fucking HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish i could claim him as my own  man permentaly but i’ve come to grips that it can’t happen that way for me….. i need to get as far away from this town and state as i can to ever truely get over  S. i fink.  Aww hell but it was DAYUMMMMMMMMMM good. i could crave that everynite and morning if i could. but thats so not getting what i want.

Then my guy from Texas who got transfered to Maimi in two weeks notice guy that i was supposed to meet feels bad because nothing can happen between us physically because of distance even tho we both want it too  so so very badly. Who tried to send me what i asked for and it got taken by someone else. someone FAKED my signiture how scary is that

Then theres the guy from texas that in two weeks will be up here cus he transfered up here to see me.. isn’t that sweet, yet he’s old enough to  be my dad, and my friend/roomate got out of a relationship where the guy was much much older than her and it went well n then all fell apart i dont want to have that kind of a relationship with this man… nor do i want to use him either *sighZ*

And Finally, theres the guy on the East Coast C. and the guy in Ten. named R. and all i have to say about them is i would give my life for either one of them if they asked me to and know ing that i still would. and more. just for them

does this make me a whore?