no.more.tears.

It feels like I’ve got no purpose here. Other than being some married girl from Canada, I’m no one. I haven’t got any friends, because I don’t know anybody. I’ve been trying so hard to find a job, but who in their right mind would hire some foreign chick with lots of experience and no local references. I don’t even have a permanent visa yet. Stephen gets home at around 6pm and goes to bed early because he’s out of the house by 7am almost every morning. He’s sympathetic, and I know it’s not his fault, but I can’t stand this. I love this city, everyone I’ve met has been so nice, and I’m happy with Steve. I just feel so lost, and so useless. Sometimes I cry when I find out Stephen is coming home later than usual. Wednesdays are the worst because he’s a Cub leader, so he comes home from work and changes then leaves again. I can’t stand this lonlyness. I’m so used to being around so many people, surrounding myself with friends. When family went out to the lake and I was home alone, my house became everyone’s house. I’d have friends moving in and out the entire summer. Now I’m literally stuck here, with a cat, and an empty house to sit around and sulk in all day. It’s so pathetic, it makes me sick. I want work so badly… I’ve taken my resume to 13 retail places alone, nevermind daycares and nanny agencies. I’ve never had to work this hard to find a job in my entire life, and if I were in Winnipeg it wouldn’t be anywhere near as difficult. I miss everyone terribly :o( It’s summer time at home, and everyone’s telling me about their weekends at the lake, and going camping and planning shopping trips to the U.S… I’d give anything to move this place back there, or move all of my friends and family here. And I know things will change, I know it’ll get better…but in the meantime, what is there for me? Nothing but a television, a computer, lots of movies and mindless walking with a lack of destination. Oh, and ofcourse conversation for the odd 3 to 4 hours a day that Steve might be around (not counting weekends)

Well anyways, it seems I’ve got conversation on MSN now so there’s no need to sulk for a while. No more tears! I suppose I will write more tomorrow.

::KriS::