The first appointment

I had my first prenatal appointment with the doctor today and I feel extremely crushed by it. I don’t go to the doctor unless I really really think it’s necessary, my daughter doesn’t go either unless it’s serious (like when she fell on her head off our bed one night). Doctors make me uncomfortable and I usually find they lie about things because they don’t expect the patient to know.
With my last child I had midwives and we had a planned home birth. After 25 hours of labour at home, hard back labour, we went to the hospital because I was too tired to keep the positions I needed without more pain relief. I felt completely comfortable with my midwives and they allowed me to have my own decisions about my baby and body no questions asked. I actually told my husband I would not move somewhere without midwives unless we were done having babies. As it goes….he lost his job of 5 years and we moved to a small town with no midwives except for 4 hours away. There’s only two OBs in this town and both are somewhat pompous, older, non-open minded men from other countries. The man I got basically told me I was making dumb decisions and the outright lied to me. I turned down all testing and he told me since my previous care is in another province he can’t get my previous records so I had to get the testing done again (that’s a lie). He told me if I did not get blood tests that the government would make me do it after the baby is born (lie). He told me I would have to get a rubella vaccination after the baby is born, right away (huge lie). He told me I was irresponsible, that I would harm my baby, that I am too young to make these decisions and that he didn’t agree with any of what I was saying. He made me feel extremely uncomfortable, like if I end up giving birth at a hospital he will go against everything I say not to do, and I don’t feel like I should be anxious or fighting for my choices while giving birth. My sister was my doula previously and she will be this time as well, she was amazing and dealt with the doctors/nurses for me. I just feel like my options this time are so limited and I feel extremely anxious about it. Ugh….If we had more money right now I would pay a travelling midwife to come here!