That major life update

So, looking back, I see that it has been over a year since my last real appearance here, so I need to provide some major life update news.  For whom?  Let us pretend there are people who read and care.  Otherwise, for me, so I can look back in years to come and say “yup, something actually happened to me, once”.

So, after years of waiting, I finally got out of Shane’s house, with his horrible and emotionally abusive father, and into my own apartment.  It is strange, after living with other people for 15 years it feels very strange, and very liberating, to have my own place again.  It’s small, 1 bedroom/1 bath, 400sq ft, and I’ve found that’s really all I need.

After renting a room for so long, and being stuck spending most of my time in the house limited to that room, just the ability to walk freely in my own space and shape that space to my needs is a huge upgrade to my living situation.  So much of that daily stress that comes with living with an abuser is gone and, though my depression certainly isn’t going away, I no longer go to sleep each night with my last thought being “I wish I were dead”, nor wake up each morning to the same thought, which had become a daily occurrence.

I’ve taken to seeing the doctor more, for medical issues, and have generally started trying to turn my health and life around as much as I realistically can.  I’m dieting again and adopting new habits that should help in the long run, even if I don’t lose as much as I’d like.  I had surgery for gallstones and, soon, I’ll be having some tests done for other medical issues.  For the first time, in a long time, I am caring about my own well-being – if only a little.

There are still some problems with this place – and I am going to be forced to move again in a year and a half – but for now, right now, things are better than they were.