new plan?

Days have been tough. Weeks have been tough.

I have been averaging about 4 interviews a week. There was one job I actually liked, and that was the only job that hasn’t given me an offer.

But that’s not why things have been tough. I’m great at interviews. I enjoy them actually. I never turn down an interview because I like learning different interview methods. It feels like I’m in court–I have a plan, but sometimes I get a curveball and the way I respond to the curveball shows just how perfect I’d be in the role…

It’s just that… Every job sucks. The pay sucks, the work sucks, and when I try to negotiate pay, they tell me there’s no room for negotiation because they can pick a college student off the streets who will happy to do the work. The problem is, they can’t do the work well as I can. Even if they have YEARS of experience. Years of experience doesn’t teach them what law school taught me. I can do the work better and faster and every attorney who interviewed me knows that, but they also aren’t willing to pay me what I deserve. So I’ve turned down job after job.

Yesterday, I had a little breakdown. Why am I doing this? What’s the point? It’s not a career. There’s no room for growth. And I’m going to be overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated.

I’m doing it because I need money. Because Husband and I want to start trying for a baby and we can’t do that on just his salary, at least for the time being. I’d also loveeee to get a new place before I have baby, but the housing market is shit right now, so we’ll probably just switch to a two-bedroom apartment in a slightly better complex. My complex is okay. It’s in a great area, love the layout of our mini-home. Hate our neighbors and the maintenance people, and there’s no room for all the baby stuff I want.

Anyway, I kind of spent today coming up with a new plan. There was this job I interviewed for and loved before the bar results came out. It doesn’t require a license but still requires legal knowledge and it has a focus on helping children. And it’s part-time which I love. I didn’t take it because they wanted a 1 year commitment, and I was waiting for my bar results. I didn’t know if I could give up being an attorney and stick to a part-time position for that long of a period.

They’re still hiring for that position, and I want to reach out to see if they’ll still have me. Then, I could still study for the bar part-time and take the bar next July, and I could still get pregnant and have a baby. That’s my new plan. I haven’t run it by Husband yet, but he’s always been so supportive 💖