I’m pissed off at my sister

So, here’s the thing. I’m the rock of the family–I always have been.

I do everything for everyone. All through school, I helped everyone with their homework. In college, I helped with essays, math homework, I even made everyone’s damn schedules for them because they didn’t feel like they could do it as well as I could. I was there for all of her surgeries, health problems, breakups, everything in between. I make all the resumes, cover letters, help with interview prep. I listen to everyone’s problems. I’m always there.

I know my sister is struggling with her breakup, even though its been a year and a half. I know the asshole really fucked her up. I know she can’t get over it and doesn’t know where to go from here.

But I’m annoyed.

No. I’m not annoyed, I’m hurt.

I thought she’d be a huge part in my baby’s life. I thought she’d want to be around him, to watch him grow, but she isn’t. She only ever wants me to bring him to her house, but now that he’s crawling and trying to walk, I can’t bring him over there anymore, and she hasn’t even asked me. Her place is small, her dog is not friendly. When I go over there, we have to keep the dog outside and we sit in the yard. But BabyBoy can’t crawl around in the yard. It’s not a safe place for him, so he has to be in a stroller or on our laps. Now, he moves around too much for that.

But she doesn’t want to come here, and moreover, she doesn’t even ask about him. And she does talk to me… about shows she’s watching or things she’s doing at work. I just want her to want to be around him. But I don’t even ask. It’s not worth it.

I really needed help this week. I really wished she was here. I’m tired of being there for everyone and not getting anything in return. I know she’s going through her own shit, but I’m going to distance myself a little and see what happens. I can’t always be the glue holding everyone together. Sometimes I need something in return.