I hate the bar.

The bar exam is 2 weeks from tomorrow. I’m freaking out. I feel like I’ve forgotten everything I learned. My scores aren’t high enough. My brain isn’t really functioning. I just want to stay in bed and cry until it’s over, but I have so much to learn. So much to memorize. I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I hate everything and everyone. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t know how I’ll going to get through this. I don’t think I’m going to pass. I just want to cry.

Today’s my older brother’s birthday. I haven’t called him or anything. The family is supposed to go to dinner with him tonight (we’ve all been tested and are all quarantining and we’re going to my parents’ house please hold your covid comments for a day I actually give a shit). I’m going to try my best to make it. My family always does family dinners for birthdays. But my older brother’s wife (they’re not married technically and I’m the only one in my family who actually likes her) makes birthdays like the biggest deal in the world and I just don’t care about anything right now. Boo hoo it’s your birthday. I’m taking the bar in 15 days. I shouldn’t take it out on him. He hasn’t done anything or expected anything from me. I’m just upset. Upset at myself for doing bad on practice questions and wanting to give up on everything.

My brain doesn’t feel like it’s working anymore. It feels full and like it can’t process information. I had a larceny by false pretenses MEE today (I’m generally pretty good at crim and better at MEEs than MBEs) and I was like there’s no larceny, the guy lied to get him to buy to his computer, so he didn’t deprive him of property. Well I failed that. BECAUSE WHEN YOU BUY SOMETHING YOU GIVE AWAY YOUR MONEY, so owner deprived him of property by depriving him of his money through false pretenses. I feel stupid.

Back to failing MBEs. Bye.