Feeling guilty

Ever since Husband got his promotion he wakes up earlier. Because of that, he goes to sleep earlier. I usually stay up in the living room until 2ish and then go to bed. He’s a super deep sleeper and never wakes up when I go in. I’ve always been an insomniac, so even when I go to bed I tend to stay up trying to sleep for awhile.

Some nights I feel bad for not going to bed with him. Some nights I do. But then I lay in bed for HOURS and my sleep anxiety keeps getting worse and worse. He also wants me to wake up earlier. But i don’t want to wake up earlier. I love sleeping in. Most of my life I’d get 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night and then wait for the weekend to try to play catchup. My dad also never let us sleep in on weekends because he thought that would make us lazy. So now, that I don’t have school, or a job for pretty much the first time in my entire life, I’m taking advantage of getting 7ish hours of sleep a night. It’s nice. I know that it’s not going to last, so I’m just trying to enjoy it.

What Husband doesn’t understand is that even if I were to go to bed at the same time as him, I won’t sleep at the same time as him. So going to bed earlier doesn’t mean sleeping earlier. And he knows that because I go to bed at the same time as him a couple of times a week (he stays up late with me on weekends). And he knows that he sleeps and I don’t. And he knows that I still wake up around 10.

But he still makes me feel guilty. I’m going to go wake him up and talk to him about it, before it’s too late to wake him up.

Update:

He was still awake when I went into the room so I didn’t wake him up. He said he was joking and didn’t think it would make me feel bad and that he understands why I stay up. I stayed in bed with him until he fell asleep. I still feel guilty. Gonna guilt clean the house now.