Waiting to see

(This is the most recent piece in a project that begins here.)

I asked a question on happiness
Tried to tie it to something there
On the ground
The atoms slipped between one-another
I forgot why I wanted to ask
Why I wanted to do it
Only that I was doing it
Or found myself as such

But see now, as they are
Apart
I wanted more words on the subject
They were forming the right shapes
Shapes that were pleasing
Set upon their vectors
As I drive in the night, they’re there
One and one
Now the hushed movement of air
The shadows from the glow
Glare in the eyes

— I tried to tie you down.
On the ground?
— To something. I don’t know.
Is that an admission, a plea or a turn of language?
— Yes.
Stare
— Did you come to ask me something?
No
I’m not sure why I came this evening
Or that I find myself present
How did I arrive?
— I don’t know. You’re here.
And that’s all she says
There’s a cycle of electricity that hums as it passes
Glides on its circuit
Sound growing, fading, growing again
In the same way I am compelled to complete these circles
Slowing to distort the curve
An irregular ellipse
Asymmetrical path-finding
Returning then to the same room
The same glow
How rarely the language exports
— I had a notion of a question, but I decide now not to ask it.
For a moment I wonder what it is
Then it dissolves
I look at the words and the shapes and see the circle close
Resume with momentum
Vaguely following the curvature set on cycles before
But now with more words
More lines
Drawn and shaped
Introduced deviation
And somehow I am evolved in some countless tiny places
— At some point it changed. I don’t remember anything about it. This is what I have now.
Neutral tone
A neutral face
Lit by the glow
Light spilling and fading across her shape
The furrows of her clothing
Dimly reflect in the jewellery adorning my fingers as they translate
The unconsciousness waiting for me in the next room