things you notice afterwards

– hey hey
– oh wow i didn’t see you
– no that’s ok i know you’ve got your headphones on
– yeah well, you know it’s like that
– of-course – how did it go
– yeah it was great um, turned out really well – did you enjoy it?
– enjoy it? hell yeah – loved it it was a great night
– i’m really glad you know because i wanted everyone to enjoy it
– no it was great
– i wanted you to enjoy it
– i did – yeah i did a whole lot
– so where are you off to
– um – nowhere really i’m just you know – floating
– really
– yeah you know um, nothing really is on until tomorrow – and wednesday
– hey you want a coffee or something?

and that quarter of a second takes about forever. you listen for the breath, watch for the slight widening of the eyes, raising of eyebrows, shift in bodyweight, swaying of the arms and fingers… but you won’t know just how much you took in until long afterwards.

– yeah sure, of-course – my god i was just thinking i really wanted something and i didn’t even know what it was
– it’s always coffee
– (laughter) it is not – you’re bad
– no, i’m honest…

like nothing special ever happened.
and that’s how it begins.