Surrender

(This is the most recent piece in a project that begins here.)

Here we sit
Together
In a house of shapes
Even beneath us

I feel myself
Enveloped in the floor
Lying still
The heart sounding
Ever measuring
I open my eyes
It is night in the sky
And as I turn my head
I see the earth
Objects slowly growing larger
The larger they grow
The slower they grow
Down to the edges of the city
To a house
Through the roof and the dark spaces
Emerging from the ceiling
Looking down at the body of a woman
I turn my head and look up
My body descends slowly in the dimness
Turn and look down
Inching towards the body on the floor
Then the slow gathering of gravity
The carpet
Enveloped in the floor
Then stop
Turn and look up
The body of a woman lying on her side above me
Pan the head
A deer walks slowly towards her
Each hoof making a dull thud
It stops
Lowers its head towards me
Lifts
Moves
Thud
Thud
Stop
Movement
I return to the body of the woman
Lying behind her is the body of a man
Fitted to her shape
He turns his head towards the floor
Looks down at me
Stare
His lips part
Then a slight shake
Dark liquid spills from his mouth
Swirls above me as if within another clear liquid
Slowly it glides in tendrils
Becoming thinner
Spreading out
Another shake
More liquid disturbs the cloud
It drifts slowly down towards me
I move a heavy arm
Extend the hand
Fingers into the liquid and sense a minute change in temperature
It creeps along my arm
Swirling at my lips
Open
On the tongue
The taste of blood
Close my eyes
Lower the jaw
Inhale
A woman walks towards me down the hall
The door to the apartment by me is ajar
The next, farther away, closed
She stops at the closed door
Reaches out a hand on the latch
Application of force
Open
Pale random lights over her body
She enters
Pause
I walk forward towards the door
Slowly the space inside is revealed
The woman stands in-front of a rectangle of light and noise
In the corner a large shadow of a shape stands
Two blue eyes observing the woman
Then it pans its head
Looks at me
Stare
On the counter by the sink there are two glasses
One filled with water
The other slightly less
I look at the glasses
Then tilt my head back
Reach up for the cupboard handle
Fingers close
Application of force
Open
Stare
Release the cupboard handle
Slowly swing the arm forward
Coldness against the fingertips
Smoothness
Close fingers
Lift
Lower the glass to the counter
The thick sound of the base tapping the counter
Reach up again
Take another glass
And another
Standing in a row
And I can see a mass of symbols covering every surface
Written out onto the very concrete of the walls and floor
Burnt into vinyl
Scratched across metal
I walk along the corridors and large empty spaces
Where the shapes and lines spread ceaselessly over everything
Etched into the windows
Burnt through paper onto the surfaces beneath
Stop
Listen
The sound of nothing
Slowly allow the weight of my body to bend the knees
At the waist
Lowering myself to the hard floor
As I lie down I feel my flesh move slightly into the shapes of the etchings
Skin above the temple touching the concrete
The world sideways
Grass grows out from the floor
Moving ever upwards
It surrounds my body
Push gently beneath me
Fitting to the form of my body
The curve at knee and back
I am enveloped
The grass slowly blocks out the light
Whispering as blades moves against one-another
I close my eyes
Part lips
Lower the jaw
The grass begins to fill my mouth
As I walk through the streets I observe tiny cracks in everything
The light of the sun glimmers against some substance between the cracks
Enter a building
Shapes fully formed
Then approached, the cracks again
I reach up with my hand
Press my fingers to a jagged seam
Move my fingers along it
Step back
A shape made of broken shapes
Once we drove out to a small field surrounded by low walls
A gate
But there was nothing there
I had expected something else but I don’t remember
There was nothing
Only grass