One and three

I sit in the armchair and watch
I don’t know why he sleeps
I don’t know why I don’t sleep
I don’t sleep when he’s sleeping
Except for once when I woke up
Got up and in a room on the other side of the house
He was asleep
We must have been asleep at the same time
Maybe it’s happened more than once
Then he gets up
Sits upright
Thick legs over the edge of the bed and feet on the floor
A massive black shape
Slowly flowing
Ropes and strings of darkness
And pale ice-blue eyes that glow
Large lines and contours of masculinity
He’s beautiful
– I will go.
In this realm he is the first speaker
— I don’t know why you do.
In this realm I am the third
Who the second is I don’t know
– Some strange abstract of hunger drives me.
— You could starve yourself.
– I could.
I walk to the window
Look out at the city below
— I don’t know what there is to eat out there.
No breath on the cool glass
— There’s nothing but ghosts.
– Perhaps you’re the ghost.
Perhaps I am
Sometimes it’s a day
Sometimes days or weeks
Or some immeasurable span of time
But we always end up in the same place
Inexplicably tied to one-another
I’ve walked and walked and just found him
Asleep
So I set myself down to watch him
Watch over him perhaps or simply wait for his company
For all I know he does the same
– I can bring back something for you.
— Something tells me what sustains you won’t be of much use to me.
He just stares
I know where he’s looking even with my back to him
— Thank you though.
The reflection in the window of his shape moves
His body doesn’t make a sound
I imagine this is how he hunts
– Today, this evening, is different.
He will only ever say something like this when indeed, things are different
I turn and look at him
– Today the author writes, and I am compelled.
— Will you find what you are looking for?
– There is no indication that it is so. Nevertheless, I am compelled.
What this has to do with me, I don’t know
– Perhaps something. Perhaps nothing.
I nod
– Will you follow me?
Stare
— I don’t know.
I have no reason to go with him
I have no reason not to
I have no reason
– Hmmm.
His deep baritone voice
– I will wait.
— What if you don’t find it? Tonight?
– I will wait if I find it.
Blink
— If you wish.
– Will you come?
— You know I will eventually, regardless.
Stare
Blink
– Hm.
This seems good enough
– I will go.
The bed makes a noise when he gets up
His body does not
I turn and sit back in the armchair
For a moment I wonder what it is he is looking for
Some object that has relevance to him
Then I forget
Close my eyes
I can sit like this with my eyes closed forever
And not sleep