far far away

in my dreams i run until my lungs burn
i chase you
across the – the world
the whole universe
–
i chase your shadow
your scent in the air

and when i finally find you
i turn your body
shaped like all the things i yearn for
like all the things i’m afraid of
but the face is mine
and i haven’t found you at all

i’m so out of breath that when i fall to the floor
i haven’t even the energy to weep
to make a sound
to even pull my face into a look of anguish
–
and i hate it
i hate that i can’t

i wish all of this would stop
i’m so tired
tired of running after you
who are you
i want to find you
so then i could stop this yearning
this pain in my body – everywhere
and begin loving you