Punishment

So being a submissive person and not having anyone to dominate me for a long time has been a bit of a challenge for me. A few months ago I was talking to a guy who was in a similar situation and he told me that he has started something he calls self-domination. He created all the rules and penalties that he would expect from a dominant partner and he enforces them on himself. I thought this was a fascinating idea and that same day I started creating rules for myself.

I started off with just listing all the household chores and setting specific days when each of them had to be done. I was really already good with keeping up on things around the house, but it was fun to have this structure. And I decided if I didn’t get a chore done on the right day I would ground myself for a week.

Everything was going really well and I was enjoying this new system. I was talking to my friend that gave me the idea regularly and we were bouncing suggestions off each other to make it more interesting.

A few weeks ago I got distracted with other things and ended up not cleaning the bathroom on the day I was supposed to. It was my first time breaking a rule and I immediately grounded myself for a week. Grounding meant I could only leave the house to go to work or pick up groceries, and I limited how much time I could spend online or watching TV. I also gave myself a 9:00 bedtime while grounded.

A few days into my grounding, there was an event I really wanted to go to. I thought about it and decided I would go, and I would ground myself an extra week for violating my grounding.

I told my friend what I had done and he said he thought that was really wrong. He said I can’t just randomly decide to not obey a rule on purpose in exchange for a punishment.

I realized he was right. He encouraged me to give myself a serious punishment for what I had done. I decided on a six week grounding, which means canceling a trip to Vegas I had planned for early February as well as missing two fat acceptance get-togethers.

I could have made the grounding just five weeks, but that would have meant still being able to go to Vegas and I wanted to have to cancel the trip as part of my punishment.

For my grounding bedtime, I left it at 9:00, which I thought was reasonable. But I mentioned that to my friend and he said his normal bedtime was 9:00 and when we was grounded he made it 8:00 or even sometimes 7:00 if it was a severe punishment. I hadn’t even given myself a “normal” bedtime and I was impressed with his ideas. I couldn’t imagine going to bed at 7:00 every night for six weeks, even though this was supposed to be a sever punishment. I settled on a compromise and made it 7:00 during the week and 8:00 on weekends.

After thinking about this, I gave myself a “normal” bedtime of 9:00 for when I am not being punished, and decided I should probably be punished more for going so long without a bedtime. I told my friend that I wanted to punish myself for this and he strongly agreed that I should. He said I should either ground myself longer, or make my bedtime earlier, or both. Naturally I went with both.

I decided to ground myself through the end of February, and make my bedtime for the first week of the grounding (last week) 6:00. I also did away with the weekend exception and made my bedtime for the rest of the grounding 7:00.

I will update about my punishment as it goes on.