Sick

Blegh. I’m sick. I think I have a cold. It’s 6:30AM and I woke up from a weird dream.

First I have to say I was worried that I wouldn’t fall asleep because I felt like shit, but then when I woke up
I felt like I was running on 3 different layers of sleep. Like I was sleeping on my X axis, Y axis, and Z axis, and that
each axis had a sleep/dream with it. It felt weird to move.

I had a Highlander dream! It was pretty cool, but really kinda scary. I was an immortal, just like the immortals in the Highlander story (part 1 movie, mostly), and the Kurgan was trying to kill me, by chopping off my head. In a super market of all places! But I escaped. He kept telling me that it was my destiny to die before him, so that he could be the only one; that I was being selfish and denying destiny by trying to survive. He was a crazy bastard.

Anyways. Now I’m awake. And I only got about 4, maybe 5 hours of sleep. That should be enough for me to make it through the day. But I’ll crash when I get home, that’s for sure.

I miss my mom when I get sick. She always takes good care of us when we got sick. Brought us medicine while we stayed in bed… I would play games alllllllllllll day. She’d make a meal we really liked. I’ve been getting more and more nervous as time goes on with my parents. They just keep getting older and older. They’ve already outlived both of their parents; my mom by a good 2 decades. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do if I lose either one of them.

I wonder how people who are married deal with being sick. I wonder if the couple still sleeps in the same bed, etc. These are things I wonder about… non-single people’s lives. I bet they’re vastly different from mine.

A classmate of mine was complaining that they wanted to see this movie, but that they didn’t have anyone to go with them, so I suggested they go anyways, and they looked at me as if I were crazy. Because apparently nobody goes alone to the movies anymore, he seemed to believe. Then I told him that I have been going to the movies by myself for like the last 8 years. If anything, it’s a lot more enjoyable to go by yourself. You only have yourself to please. He kinda irks me, this classmate. He’s always optimistic. About everything. It clashes with my aura of Vast Depression and I just want to grab ahold of him and shake some sense into him. Be like “Wake up! The world sucks! Stop being so fucking happy!”. But he’s still young. He’ll figure it out on his own.

I’m the oldest person in my graduating class. I think the next oldest is like 22.

I’m probably going to get ready, taking a horrible shower (it seems no matter how hot the water is, when you’re sick a shower feels like ice water), then go grab me some NyQuil, DayQuil, and EveryOtherTimeQuil.

I’ve been feeling pretty numb lately. Which is better than feeling sad, I guess. I just don’t feel anything.

A friend of mine who use to hang out with us before class in high school died a few days ago. Ryan Martin. We all use to hang out by an area we called “The Pole” because we basically all stood around a pole that held up a roof/shelter. I can honestly say even though I’m a bit shocked about it, I haven’t cried or anything.

My other friend, Dustin, is a wreck though. I saw his status on Yahoo! Messenger was “Depressed – My best friend died”.

There wasn’t shit I could say to him, so I actually haven’t spoken to anyone yet.

April called me up crying on the phone about it. I think she was expecting me to take it worse than I did. I really am just not feeling anything though. I was like “Yea? Damn. That sucks.” I had no words of comfort for her either.

He died in a motorcycle accident. That’s the primary reason I refuse to own/operate a motorcycle. You can be the safest driver in the world, but if you get in a wreck with a motorcycle… you’re going to get hurt. And this is Florida. The better percent of the nation’s elderly move down here to die. They’re all over the roads. But yea. He died in a motorcycle accident. I think he had a sister who was in our class too. Jennifer Martin. Not sure though. She’s probably having a rough month if so.

Crappy world, crappy people.

I got the most random ink pen in the world. And by got, I mean I stole it. It’s a HotPockets ink pen. The people who make HotPockets obviously figured to advertise with ink pens. What’s awesome is there’s a little button that when you press it, it goes “*Ding* HotPockets!” with that singing lady who does their motto.

Awesome ass pen. They’re not ColdPockets, or LukeWarmPockets, or RoomTemperaturePockets, they’re HotPockets, dammit. I love it. I wish Dominos or some other brand I really loved made a cheesy pen. I would so use it all the time.

Perhaps the greatest news of all time concerning me is that I ordered an SNES Retroport for my computer, and I love it to death. It allows me to plug my Super Nintendo controller into my computer, and use it for emulators. It’s greeeeeeeeeeeeat. http://www.retrousb.com/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=29

Well I’m out. Time to jump into that punishing shower.

~Bruce