Road Trip Over

Okay.

Warning #1. This could be a long entry. I feel like ranting and raving and rambling and any other talking that begins with an R.

Warning #2. I put background music on this entry. It’s 7 MBs so it’s probably downloading now. It takes awhile to download. So if you’re blasting your volume right now, you may want to turn it down. =D This song reflects how I feel right now.

Where to begin…

Well. I woke up around 6 AM for the road trip. Conducted personal hygiene. Double checked that I had everything. Put it all in the car. Grabbed as many music CDs as I could. and I was out the door by 8 AM.

I loved the first part of the trip. The further away I got from El Paso, the less and less desert scenery I saw. Eventually GRASS was all around. It was great. There were mountains all over. I love mountains. That’s one thing Florida has never had — Mountains.

And for the first time in a very, very long time… I actually ENJOYED traveling. I think I’ve finally figured it out. I think I actually DO enjoy traveling… when I’m going somewhere *I* want to go. If it’s somewhere I don’t want to go… then I don’t enjoy it. Although that may seem obvious to some others, it wasn’t for me okay? =P

I just felt, for a moment, that I was somewhat free again. A free man. One day I will be. That was a great feeling. Clear blue sky, good rock ‘n roll music, nothing but the road. It was great. I got a lot of thinking done. And it wasn’t negative thinking either.

Odessa (first green dot) was an interesting town. It seemed like there was nothing but factories around. I have an online friend who lives in Odessa. I should probably pay this friend of mine a visit the next time I’m in the area. But I don’t travel too often.

The sun was starting to set when I was at Haskell (second green dot) And as the sun went down, I started feeling sad for some reason. I don’t know. I guess it was the atmosphere.

I saw a so very beautiful sight though. The sky was vanilla colored near the horizon, pinkish a bit ways after the vanilla, then purplish up top. To my right was an open field of grass with a line of telephone poles following me car down the road… and to the left was another open field of grass, but in the very very center of the field, was a single solitary tree. It just looked awesome. One little bold tree out in the middle of this large open field.

I got to Wichita Falls when it was late and dark. That town looks awesome! It’s definetly my type! The bustling city type. I love cities. There’s life to cities — even in the night. It was beautiful looking.

And I eventually reached Lawton. Fort Sill SUCKS!!! I feel bad for any soldier stationed there. I stayed at the army lodging hotel for like $35 a night. My room had a familiar smell about it. I couldn’t place it. But it made me get lost in memories while I slept. I was completely lost in time. For awhile I thought I was sleeping over at Joey Martin’s house, after a long night of playing the newest game for the NES – “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”. Then I thought I was up in Tennessee with my Mountain-folk relatives, sleeping to the sound of the woods.

I woke up and I was unable to tell where I was? Where was I? I had no idea. I tried to listen to the sounds of the environments… I heard cars driving by on a highway nearby. Okay, so I’m in Germany. That means the door is over here… I went to move my leg and it hits a wall that is apparently there. So I’m not in Germany anymore. What came after Germany? ……. Nothing comes to mind. Oh wait! I was sent Fort Bliss! … But that can’t be. The door would STILL be over that way. Where the hell am I? Oh, could I be in Iraq? (Unfortunately I have had the ‘pleasure’ of discovering I am in Iraq at least 30 times in Iraq. That was not a fun thing to re-learn). No. It’s too quiet here to be Iraq. And that’s the sound of cars — not humvees, helicoptors, mortar rounds and .50 cal machine guns. Alright then. I give up. I don’t know where I am. I’ll just go back to sleep now. And so I did.

And I woke up again at like 0230 to a sound I did NOT want to hear.

“You can’t bring no smoke!” You gotta deal with it!
“This run is a joke” You gotta deal with it!
“Don’t fall out” You gotta deal with it!
“Help your buddy out!” You gotta deal with it!
“Cuz a wimp can’t hang” A wimp can’t hang!
“And a wimp shouldn’ta came” A wimp shouldn’ta came!
“Cuz a wimp can’t be” A wimp can’t be…
“Artillery” Artillery!
“Two old ladies were lying in bed” *soldiers repeat the line*
“When one rolled over to the other and said” *soldiers repeat*
“I wanna be an airborne ranger” *soldiers repeat*
“Live the life of sex and danger” *soldiers repeat*
“Airborne ranger” *soldiers repeat*
“Sex and danger” *soldiers repeat*

Wtf? It’s 0230 in the morning. Who the hell’s running soldiers at 0230 in the morning?? AHA! Now I know where I am! I’m at Fort Sill! That’s a Drill Sergeant, and those poor suffering soldiers are going through Basic Training! HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! Poor bastards. I’d feel bad for them, but I had to go through that too. So tough rocks, pals.

And I was up at 0800. IT’S SO FUCKING COLD IN OKLAHOMA. You guys… well I guess I have to start saying “You ladies” as you guys aren’t guys, you’re ladies. You ladies have to understand. I’m from Florida. I am a FLORIDIAN. I can’t hack the cold. I may have +10 to Fire resistance, but I have a -10 weakness to Cold. So I still think I’d insta-die in Canada.

I went over to Cameron University for the job fair. It was okay. But there was like 600 soldiers already there, so I was just 601. I didn’t feel I really made to great of an impression on any employer, but at the same time I really don’t want to. I’m looking for a job in Florida, not Oklahoma or Texas.

During the job fair there was a very sudden, very loud explosion sound. And I found myself to once again be the only person flinching reactively to the sound. But THIS time *I* was justified. That really was the sound of Artillery. It wasn’t a Burger King bag or a door slamming. However the people of Lawton, Oklahoma have apparently adapted to hearing Artillery fire all the time. Fort Sill is the training grounds for Artillery soldiers.

And then… at the end of the day, I had a choice to make. I could either stay another night in the hotel, then drive back in the morning, or I could just beast the drive right then and there. I decided to go ahead and knock the drive out now. That way Friday (which we had off) I could spend doing hobbies ‘n stuff.

I got back really late. Like 0200? Maybe 0300? And then I find out that Friday is no longer a day off. The colonel went back on his word. I knew he couldn’t back it up. I hate that man. I’m a peaceful person, and I try not to hate. But this man deployed us to Iraq so he could get his promotion, and got my friends murdered. I’ll never forgive him for that. All for a stupid star.

So here I am, just getting in at 0300 in the morning, and Friday is now suddenly a work day? I don’t think so. I told my room mate Justin that he never sawme. I slept in. I had driven for so long, that when I layed down and closed my eyes, I felt like my body was moving at 70 – 80 miles per hour still. I had a dream that I was driving my car along a highway out somewhere in the desert. Going so fast. And within a split second, suddenly I’m flying through the air, in pieces. My car just exploded and I was ripped to pieces. And then I realized I wasn’t just driving through any old desert, but Iraq itself. And that I was just murdered! And I don’t even know who murdered me. And I woke up. And all of this bad part of the dream took place within 1 second or less. It was fast. And there was no sound when the explosion happened. It just happened. I woke up full of anger. I have anger problems now.

And as soon as I woke up, I disappeared from the area. The *last* thing I need is to go work grumpy. I’m mean enough as it is.

And now, here I am.

And my mood is sour today. So all you women get -1000 points because I’m just not in the mood to deal with women today. I have such anger problems. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I find myself directing it at women. Or rather, one woman in particular. Nicki. I’m so furious with her for what she did to me in Iraq. But it’s getting out of hand. It’s reasonable to be mad, but not THIS mad. I just want to turn into BANE AND SMASH.

Well I think I’ve run out of rant juice. I’ll stop now.

And don’t worry about me ladies. I went to this horrid 5 hour briefing on what to expect to feel after a deployment. Anger is normal. So are nightmares. They’ll go away eventually. Once I learn to deal with whatever I’m dealing with. Supposedly talking about it helps. I’m just so mad that someone with a wife and kids had to die while some bum like myself gets to live. I’ve got nothing to live for and he had everything to live for. It’s called survivor guilt. Also normal. If it weren’t for the fact that I have an important job, maybe it *would* have been me. It’s amazing how a choice like that determined that I will live, and he had to die.

Can you configure a router or switch? Can you tell me the color code of a CAT5 cable, or how many layers there are in the OSI model? Do YOU know how to subnet mask?

Still. Do *I* have a wife and two kids? No. And now those kids have no dad. That’s so terrible. It makes me so angry.

~Bruce