Ramblings

I still love you so much. I still think about you every day.

I still feel so angry that you’re gone. Mostly at myself.

I wish you’d call me. Or email me.

I wish you’d think of me.

I wish you missed me.

I wish you loved me.

I can only sob into a pillow at night. Hoping to catch
at least some sleep.

Sometimes I pretend like the pillow is you, and I am
holding you.

Whoever said it is better to have loved and to have lost
than to have never loved at all… I’m just not so sure
he got that one right, sometimes.

Its been over a year now and I still feel dead.

…..

First, I have to graduate college, pay off all my debts, and
save up some money. Take care of things I want
taken care of. Like my precious SNES. It’ll take years.

After that, its my choice.

If I still feel that way by then… it wont be a hard
choice.

It probably wont even be a choice.

School is so hard and busy. I don’t even have time to do
anything anymore. I still got a good month to go, also.

We’re making a 3D top-down shooter. Except our little fighter-ship
has the ability to steal enemy ship’s powers in a Kirby-fashion. We
don’t eat the enemies, we use a Hook/Lasso type weapon that steals their
power.

Programming in 3D is not pleasant at all. And we’re not even using every
dimension. We’re just going to use X & Y, we’re basically setting everything
to the same Z level. It’s a Top-down shooter, after all.

I have a heavy weakness with 3D math because our math teacher had a horrible
accent and I honestly didn’t learn much from him. So I’m trying my best
to do Matrix rotation, translation, scaling, and vector direction crap, but
I really suck.

I got the game Batman: Arkham Asylum, and I’m very happy about this game. They
have done a really good job on it. Eidos is a great company. They make the
Thief games I love so much. And now they’ve made a good Batman game. Although
Story Mode can feel… very linear and … not open… it’s still fun.

And they got the story done reaaaally well. You can tell the guys who did the
Animated Series had a hand in the story. They even got Batman’s fear right,
which means they didn’t leech off the movies. I’m sorry, but Batman is NOT
afraid of Bats. He never has been, he never will be. That’s just silly. That’s
like me running around in a Spider suit. No thanks.

Instead all encounters with the Scarecrow end up giving him visions of his parents,
either of their death or them saying they are disappointed in him.

I was hoping there’d be one like in the Dreams in Darkness episode on the Animated Series.
He can see his parents, walking together, towards a tunnel, and Batman begins to
chase after his parents, yelling for them to not go into the tunnel. And as he’s
running towards his parents, the ground beneath him starts to become uneven and crumble,
and he can’t catch his parents no matter how fasts he runs.

Then when his parents enter the tunnel, the tunnel rips out of the ground and reveals
itself to be the barrel of a gun, and Batman shouts out “Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooo!!!”
and then BANG! and he snaps out of the nightmare.

Hell, I found the clip, check out the first 39 seconds of this video

Batman will always be the best.

Another Nightmare: The 2-Face episode nightmare

From 2:50 to 4:00 <– Nightmare part.

~Bruce