Nicki Contacted Me…

Bruce..this is nicki. Wait, please before you delete this atleast hear me out. I was looking for a friends open diary, and i stumbled across yours. I read it. Ive been debating about contacting you, because i know you hate me. But ive needed to say this to you for a long time. I was never trying to hurt you. You got so mad and blew up at me in a drunken fit over the phone you never let me explain. The last time you talked to me i was going through so much, and being at my aunts house was choking me and charlie offered me escape. I needed it so badly. At the time i wasnt serious about him, it was casual and it was because he wanted to help me. It was the fight you and i had that pushed me to go all out with charlie. I was being rash because id lost faith in everyone including you. Bruce you never stopped being special to me and i know that misunderstanding caused a lot of grief, but please dont hate women. Youre a good person, you dont deserve that. Dont let anger at something that was caused by a simple miscommunication ruin the rest of your life. Its already ruined mine, trust me its not worth it. And please dont hate me. Im sorry.

This message was sent from a T-Mobile wireless phone.

…im sorry to bother you again. Ill leave you alone, i promise. I just want you to feel better. You should know that i didnt run off and live happily ever after. Theres no need for revenge. My life is already hell, so theres no need to make me pay because i already have. Ill spare you the details. Its just that if hating me and having me hurt is whatll help you, then know that you dont have to be angry anymore. If im making it worse, im sorry. I shouldnt have just given up on you after our fight. If id just kept trying to show you what was going on, you wouldnt have spent so long hurting. I..cant really say anything else. I ..hope you can understand that i wasnt trying to hurt you, and maybe even forgive me one day. I dont expect you to. But know that i forgave you for not listening. I was much worse to you. I was so angry and hurt with my family and everyone, i just jumped without thinking, and knocked you down. I never meant to. Im a mistake. Trust me. Charlie tells me so every day. So..its okay to hate me. If you ever feel so bad that you just cant stand it..just please be still and know how sorry i am. Ill stop bothering you now. Good luck with your game thing. 🙁

This message was sent from a T-Mobile wireless phone.

I don’t know how to react to this. She knows about my OD. I don’t know whether to go Favorites Only, or what. I need time to react to this. I’m distraught.