Eternity Isn’t Long Enough

My life is changing so fast.

Nicki is back in my life.

I love her.

The only thing I want is for her to be happy.

I feel so powerless with the situation she’s in.

It makes me feel less than a man.

She wants to have a happy family, and I have no control over Charlie.

If you were in a relationship with the most perfect woman in the world, would you really ever mistreat her?

It just doesn’t make sense to me.

Nothing ever makes sense to me.

Nothing ever seems to go my way, either.

She’s the most precious person in the world to me, and she’s sad. She’s mistreated.

I can’t stand that.

I really don’t like this world.

I really don’t like people.

All I want to do is take her in my arms and take her far, far away from this world. To a place where no one could ever harm her, in any way, shape, or form.

There’s nothing this world could ever do to redeem itself to me.

Stop hurting Nicki.

That’s all I want.

… We are all mortal. Our days are numbered, for each and every one of us. Even Nicki.

My time on this earth is running out.

Her time on this earth is running out.

Our time on this earth is running out.

The time that we could be spending together, is running out.

Even now.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

It’s never enough time.

I hate time. It is the fire in which we burn. =(

Especially when you want to know everything there is to know about someone.

There’s so many questions I could ask, and not enough time…

For example… what was her favorite cartoon show as a kid, growing up?

I don’t know. I’d like to know.

Did she even watch cartoons? And what’s her favorite Anime?

Is her favorite game still Majora’s Mask? Or has it changed?

Who does she look up to? Who’s her hero?

…

I don’t know the answer to any of those.

And my time is running out.

And half the time, I can’t even keep good communication with her.

I just want to hold her in my arms, and learn everything about her.

Everything.

Every. Single. Thing.

I want to draw up the blueprints to Nicki. Emotional, Intellectual, Physical, Spiritual.

Everything.

And before you say anything about my priorities… that list is alphabetized! =P

I want to know how she works. I want to know how she ticks. I want to know the things she’s going to say before she does. I want to know what she’s thinking, even when she says she’s thinking of nothing, or of something else. I want to know what she feels.

I think if I truly learned Nicki, I could make her most happy. I would understand her.

…

What’s going to happen to her when she dies? What’s going to happen to her soul; where will she go? Will I ever see her again?

I don’t care about my own soul; just hers.

Truthfully, I’d rather she just live forever. Pain free.

But then everyone she loves would still age and die before her.

It’d be like a living hell, I guess.

And she’d stop attaching herself to people, and become cold.

Nevermind, then.

But if she must die, let her at least die a billion years from now, in her sleep, peacefully.

I totally went off on a tangent.

Here is my topic, this circle: O

Here is the tangent to that circle that I went on: |

And here is the Tangent to my Tangent to the topic I went off on: _

So I apologize. Tangents.

Basically…

1. I hate this world because it’s cruel to Nicki.
2. Nicki is perfect and doesn’t deserve any pain or suffering.
3. My time on this earth to spend with Nicki is running out.
4. I want her to be my wife.
5. I want to know everything about Nicki; Emotionally, Intellectually, Physically, Spiritually

You know what it is? I am in love with her. I cannot see past that. And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. She’s everything that matters to me.

My only desire in this world is to make Nicki happy.

The End.

~Bruce