08/19/2011
Bruce: God. I fucking miss your face. You need to teleport down to Panama City right now. I want to squeeze the crap out of you in a bear hug
Nicki:: Haha if i could teleport, i would
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Bruce: I guess I’m just getting worse because in all honesty it just sucks not having you around. I have to go around punching infants to feel better.
Nicki:: =( no…
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Bruce: (That last part was a joke. I only eat little children who wander out alone at night)
Nicki:: Creepy
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Bruce: High in fiber.
Nicki:: Bleh
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Bruce: You know where a Wells Fargo is in your area? Cuz when you pay me back, I want you to just deposit into my account.
Nicki:: In hartselle…there might be one on the beltline
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Bruce: Wow, really? lol
Nicki:: I think
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Bruce: Wachovias work as well. If that matters
Nicki:: I think they were bought out by wells fargo
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Bruce: (Yeap)
Bruce: As soon as you know, let me know your schedule for the days of 3rd – 5th of September
Nicki:: What days of the week are they?
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Bruce: Saturday, Sunday, Labor Day Monday
Nicki:: Ill probably be off.
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Bruce: That was like fucking music. Say it again.
Nicki:: Huh?
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Bruce: “I’ll probably be off” <– sounded like music to my ears. BEST. LYRICS. EVERRRR.
Nicki:: Haha
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Bruce: Please plan on spending that time with me, as I do not know how long car shopping will go. I don’t even know if we’ll achieve a car for you then
Nicki:: Okay
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Bruce: I’ll probably be wearing hats! Lest ye be blinded by the glory and power of my baldness!
Nicki:: Lol okay, no worries
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Bruce: You’ll probably be wearing BEAUTY and PERFECTION, as always. So I’ll deal.
Nicki:: Captain.
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Nicki:: Haha i never wear perfection
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Bruce: Oh. Well then it must be PERFECTION TO BRUCE, because you had me fooled
Nicki:: =)
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Bruce: It’s like a double meaning with the song Witchy Woman regarding you
Nicki:: Never heard it
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Bruce: Because you’re a witch. And you’re spellbinding.
Nicki:: Haha
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Bruce: Well I’d sing it for you, but why ruin this day, y’know?
Nicki:: Lol silly
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Bruce: So do you really think you’re falling out of love with Charlie?
Nicki:: Yeah…he insults me all the time even when im being really nice to him…i hate being treated that way
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Bruce: Yea. Can’t blame you for that. HOW DARE YOU BE HUMAN AND WANT KINDNESS!?!?
Nicki:: Last night i looked at him and literally felt disgusted
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Bruce: You deserve only the best, woman. Let me be the judge of your next b/f. Let me rate whether he is worthy.
Nicki:: Yeah thats the worst possible crime. I should be hung
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Nicki:: *hanged
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Nicki:: …….lol..?
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Bruce: I’ll even build a gauntlet of death that he’ll have to traverse.
Bruce: (and feeling the way I feel for you, I will rig it so that they can never win. Haha)
Nicki:: Haha
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Bruce: “Nicki asks you, ‘Does this make me look fat’, which do you answer, yes, or no”. Then find a flaw no matter which one he chooses. DEATH!
Nicki:: Ugh. = no.
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Bruce: Heh heh
Bruce: And even if he got past that, I’d ask him the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow, followed by which came first… chicken or egg.
Nicki:: And my response is “bruce, play nice please”
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Nicki:: I want to date an extraterrestrial. Lol
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Bruce: Haha. I just want to make sure whoever you’re with next really treats you right. I can’t stand seeing you suffer, woman
Bruce: I don’t know, woman. He’d just want to probe you!
Nicki:: I may go lesbian lol
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Bruce: Ack, no
Nicki:: Haha
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Nicki:: Why?
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Bruce: Before you go lesbian, you would have to at least give me a chance to date you. I could fix everything.
Nicki:: If i ever consider going lesbian ill give you a chance first
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Bruce: =D Every man on the earth owes me.
Bruce: And every lesbian curses my name
Nicki:: Lol
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Bruce: It should be a crime to make someone so beautiful consider turning lesbian. Charlie has much to answer for!
Nicki:: Meh. im nothing to him so its no wonder…
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Bruce: I… don’t even comprehend that sentence. lol. It’s just… so hard to understand.
Nicki:: There is a college course on it that you can take..
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Bruce: So… like.. is that kind of like the opposite of me, I guess. But how is that possible? I thought that purpose and reason and air and happiness
Bruce: were all attached to having you in life. At least that’s been my experience
Nicki:: Hm…im confused
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Nicki:: Charlie says i ruined his life.
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Bruce: He’s a fool. And you know what Ms. Nicki? It’s his loss. And you are going to be so much better without him. YOU WILL SHINE SO BRIGHT.
Bruce: If I were you, I’d be like “lolThanks for Tristan see ya”
Nicki:: Well he has really done a number on my self esteem
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Bruce: I could throw out a Facebook Question, check all that Apply, Describe Nicki. YOu’ll get nothing bad!
Nicki:: I bet i would
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Bruce: You think so, eh? I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t.
Nicki:: I disagree
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Bruce: I disagree with your disagree. Nya ha.
Nicki:: I disagree with your assessment of my diagreement
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Bruce: I do not concur with your disagreement of my assessment of your disagreement
Nicki:: Pffft. whatever. =P
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Bruce: Now that is something I agree with. =)
Nicki:: I gotta pee. excuse me.
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Bruce: You do that, Alfred
Nicki:: My name isnt alfred
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Nicki:: Its archibald.
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Nicki:: ….no wait. Thats you… :0
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Nicki:: =)
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Bruce: Ohhhhhhhhh snap
Bruce: NOT SO FAST. YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! Reflection! The shinyness of my bald head reflects 100% of the damage back at you!
Nicki:: Im immune.
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Bruce: NOT SO FAST, YOU ACTIVATED YET ANOTHER TRAP CARD! Removes immunities from Nicki’s. What luck!
Nicki:: Unfortunately for you i have a reversal card. and now you are more bald than before
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Bruce: lol. I think that works in both of our favor! all my chest hair falls off and I am suddenly more appealing
Bruce: Plus! I still have my DINOSAUR, who eats FORCEFIELD DOGS!
Nicki:: Lol
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Nicki:: ……and spaceballs
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Bruce: lol. Mogs?
Nicki:: Yeah
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Nicki:: Mogs moogles and chocobos
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Bruce: And the moogle named Mog! (from ff6)
Bruce: I bet I’m allergic to Chocobos, Damn bird allergy
Nicki:: Haha
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Nicki:: Probably
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Bruce: Oh well. They probably tasted bad anyways. Heh heh.
Bruce: Oh! We have to eat Sushi again when I visit.
Nicki:: …..really?
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Bruce: Yeap. *solemn serious seriousness*
Bruce: Now, you don’t have to like it, so don’t feel pressured to enjoy the food. But we have to go, and we have to eat it.
Bruce: Oh! You never told me the results of Tristan seeing the speech therapist person
Bruce: My best guess – He’s the future main star of an RPG, the one who never talks.
Bruce: Like Link, Mario, or Crono
Nicki:: He has a delay and so we are going to work with him on it
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Bruce: Cool, cool. Good. That doesn’t sound life threatening. =)
Nicki:: Tristan is most likely link. Lol
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Bruce: Oh yea? Feisty, prone to shouts, and runs away from hugs?
Bruce: (Big goron hugs, that is)
Nicki:: No. He is just behind
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Nicki:: Yep.
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Bruce: Well if I were Tristan, I’d be all up for a Big Goron Hug from Nicki. She gives the best hugs
Nicki:: Except the hugs. He loves hugs. But fiesty and prone to shouting and staring
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Bruce: Oh see. I knew it. Nicki gives the best hugs. Even a 2 year old knows that
Nicki:: Lol
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Bruce: So even a 2 year old knows the value of a Nicki. Charlie is just retarded. So smile, Nicki. You’re power level is over 9000!
Bruce: your*
Nicki:: =)
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Bruce: Next time you feel that feeling of disgust in your gut for Charlie, don’t forget how retarded he is and take some pity too.
Nicki:: Lol okay
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Bruce: Now tell me, Nicki, did you smile at least once during this whole conversation we had?
Nicki:: Yes.
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Bruce: Then this has been a fan-fricking-abso-tastic-lutely great ending to my day. =)
Nicki:: =)
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Nicki:: Thats sweet =) welllp im going to get tristan dinner and a bath in a minute so ill be talking to ya later
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Bruce: *Sneaky attempt* Your Trial Version of Bruce has expired. If you’d like to continue use, please begin dating him. =)
Bruce: k. Take care, Nicki. =)
Nicki:: Haha hey!!!! no fair
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Nicki:: You too =)
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