08/10/2011

First things first… I got an awesome word in Scrabble against Krystal. Definitely made me laugh and smile.

I don’t care if the game says that’s only worth 11 points. We all know it’s actually OVER 9000!!!!!

In other news,… about Nicki.

I know I am a fool for her. But I have no regrets. I only want her to be happy.

Bruce: Nicki, what’s wrong? Talk to me.

Nicki: You really have to ask? What is always wrong
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Did he say something, or are you just dwelling on the sad thoughts?

Nicki: Im in so much pain its become physical pain too. My broken heart is killing me, or atleast it feels that way
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I wish you were here. I would give ou the biggest hug ever. My poor Nicki is broken.

Nicki: He always says something
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I know it seems impossible, but this, too, shall pass.

Nicki: I dont think i can be fixed either. Its been 5 months and im still a wreck
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: One day you will see that there is life beyond Charlie. You can live without him. Even thrive without him.

Nicki: I stood by him for three years of hell, loved him unconditionally…and he just throws me away like im nothing..i feel like shit
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Yes, I am well aware of the crimes he has committed. I know what you are going through. All you can do is love him, regardless. But don’t get hurt

Nicki: How do i stop loving him? Ive tried and it seems i cant, im trapped here, and the pain is overwhelming
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I also know how that feels. You’re not alone. I’m here. I wish I could hug you right now. Everything is going to be okay sooner or later, Nicki.

Nicki: It wasnt all him. We were equally terrible. It was our circumstances. They were bad and they made us turn on each other
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: …i hope youre right
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: It doesn’t matter. He gave up. He was the weak link.

Bruce: Believe me, if I could just talk to him, to help him see things the way I see them, he would come crawling back to you. It is his loss, not yours

Bruce: Besides, perhaps he needs to see life restored to you. Fire in your eyes again, for him to realize what he’s done. To win him back.

Bruce: I think we all need and want to see you happy again.

Nicki: I feel like ill never be happy.. =(
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Honestly, Nicki. I feel the same way about myself. But you can either give up and accept that, or try anyways. You literally have nothing to lose.

Bruce: Worse that happens – you’ll still be sad. Best that happens – You’ll find happiness again.

Bruce: There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy again. I seriously wish I knew just what I could do. It would be done 5 minutes ago.

Bruce: I wish I could take all your pain. Even if it was amplified 1000 times. I would take it all away. You weren’t suppose to be sad. Not you.

Nicki: It seems like my entire life there has always been something…im fucking emo
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Life has not been kind to you. Judging family, cruel boyfriends, tragedies.

Nicki: Sometimes i want out so badly its unbearable.
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I also know that feeling. I struggle with that as well. Know that if you choose to go, you will not go alone. But Tristan needs you. So do I.

Nicki: Honestly the only reason im not letting myself just walk into traffic is because of tristan
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Then Tristan is the only reason we both keep going.

Nicki: =(
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I may not be your Charlie, but I can’t be without you. I will always be your clingy obsessor.

Bruce: “To the world you’re just one person, but to one person you’re the world”

Nicki: …i appreciate that. youre really one of the nicest people i know
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: You bring out the best in me.

Nicki: Thats sweet
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Call it what you will, but it is simply the truth.

Bruce: Anyone who knows me, knows what you do to me. It is just as common knowledge as my name.

Nicki: ….thanks..
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Sorry, let’s switch topics. Don’t want to smother you.

Nicki: ….okay
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: But when you need smothering, Haha, let me know. =)

Nicki: Lol okay
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Do you know what you’re going to do about a place to live?

Nicki: I dont know
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Any idea how much time you have?

Nicki: I dont know that either. but i know i need to stay in alabama. Im isolated enough without being away from the few friends i have
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I know. I wish I could help you.

Bruce: But know this – I will not allow you to go homeless. If I find out you’re homeless, I am coming to get you. Friends be damned.

Nicki: Haha i wish i could help myself
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: ….okay. Thankyou…that makes me feel a bit better
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: That’s good. Yes, you will always have a place to stay. In a month I can help you get a car.

Bruce: Of decent-to-crappy quality.

Nicki: As long as it gets from point a to point b without blowing up, ill be happy with it. i really appreciate it
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I know. We’ll get one that works. I am thinking in the $1800 or less area.

Nicki: Hopefully less.
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Well if I can find a car that has more working features for just a few hundred more, I will go for it.

Bruce: like A/c, all windows working, and radio working

Nicki: Like i said, aslong as it runs im fine with it
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: We’ll take care of it. We’ll get you something nice. =)

Nicki: It doesnt have to be nice
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I know. But that doesn’t throw nice out the window. “Oh, no, this car is too nice. Sorry.”

Nicki: Haha
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: See. Just looking today at Craigslist I see a nice BMW for $1000, everything supposedly works. Too bad I don’t have the cash yet

Nicki: Bmw for 1000? There must be something wrong with it…like it blows up when you turn the ignition…lol
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: That’s exactly why we try before we buy. It does sound pretty good. But like I said, when we get the cash, we’ll look.

Nicki: Thankyou so much…we need to figure out a payment plan from me to you
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I told you, anywhere from $20 – $40 a month

Bruce: I’ll throw up a page on my site that keeps track of it all.

Nicki: Okay..are you sure thats enough?
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Well. $26 would be great. Then my WoW and my website would be covered. Haha.

Nicki: Haha okay =P
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: And! You can’t toss me out of your life until the car is paid off. Even if Charlie came back to you and demanded it. That’s part of the deal.

Nicki: If i ever get back with charlie i will not let him tell me i cant be friends with you. It wouldnt be worth it. Youre my friend, no matter what
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: Not that he would ever want me again anyways
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: (Though in all honesty, we both know I’m pathetic enough to wait hopelessly for your return)

Nicki: =)
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: See now I feel like *I’m* getting the better end of the deal. Heh heh

Bruce: My hair feels all greasy and slicked back now. Am I suddenly a lawyer or car salesman?

Nicki: Lol
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: Hmmm….i dunno.
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Heh heh. Just sign right on the dotted line. Pay no attention that “indefinite involuntary servitude” part.

Nicki: Haha wow. Yeah ill just hand over my soul now lol
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Hrm. Seems to me the devil claims you’ve already sold your soul to him. Just what are you trying to pull here?

Bruce: And the devil has far more lawyers than I do. haha.

Nicki: I never sold my soul to the devil. He is such a liar. I own HIS soul. He is just pissy about that
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: The devil is emo. lol

Nicki: And cute lol
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Cute??

Bruce: You’re attracted to bad, aren’t you?

Nicki: And wears prada
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Heh. My favorite saying about the devil is “The devil is a nerd” lol

Nicki: I have a thing for dark princes…its my weakness
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Time for me to go buy dark stuff and smother myself in it.

Nicki: Lol
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Eh. Though I have very dark thoughts, I cannot hide my actions. I am sadly on the side of Light, Nicki.

Nicki: Lol you have to become it if you want to be dark. You cant just act it. look at ville valo. He is a perfect example.
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I seem to have a thing for damsels in distress, honestly.

Nicki: Dark not evil. Dark and emo, gothic romantic, sad and….dark
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Inside, I am very emo. I hide 90% of myself from the world. That’s why I’m so boring.

Bruce: I am literally a walking Squall of FF8, I kid you not

Bruce: Though I wish I were more like General Leo or Laguna, I am sadly a loner.

Nicki: Youre probably an indigo.
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I just don’t like people. That’s why I choose to stay home instead of go out. People bother and hurt me.

Bruce: Sometimes I just sit at my desk and do nothing. Just stare at my screen. I am very lonely.

Nicki: I dont like people either. Sometimes i have to be around them to get enough energy, but then i just want to be alone…typical vamp thing. :/
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I only have like 2 friends, but even them I don’t tell anything. I keep all of my feelings secret.

Nicki: I know the feeling..i tend to lay in bed and stare out the window at the sky
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: Not all of them..
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I feel like a great book that no one will ever read. An amazing song that no one will ever hear.

Nicki: =(
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I know how you feel. That’s all I can say.

Nicki: =(
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Turn that frown upside down, Nicki. I’ve been that way for as long as you’ve known me. I’m still here.

Nicki: Its sad though…everything is making me sad
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: “This too, will pass” is a true saying, Nicki. It will pass.

Nicki: ….i just cant see an end to it
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: It’s not a tunnel, it’s a storm at sea. You just hold on to something and wait it out, Nicki.

Nicki: :/ unless it blows me away first or i fall overboard..
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I wont let you get blown away.

Bruce: or fall

Nicki: Thanks..
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: You have a very special situation Nicki

Bruce: Normally only 2 things in life are guaranteed. Death and taxes. But for you, *I* will always be there too. We can navigate life together.

Bruce: You and I vs the world

Nicki: I hate it
V”vampiria”V

Nicki: Thankyou
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I do too. We should totally team up. Like a 2Player beat-em-up. We can take it all on.Take the extra man,you need it more right now.I have ur back

Nicki: =) you can be really cute sometimes
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: I struggle with Depression – you can take him on. You struggle with the Money, I can take him on. We can own them all. Can you say “High Scores”?

Nicki: Im starting to fall asleep so im going to go to sleep
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: Okay. Goodnight, Nicki. I know you don’t like hearing this, but I love you.

Nicki: “high scores”
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: And please, PLEASE

Bruce: When you’re feeling sad, or lonely, or in need of help

Bruce: TEXT ME.

Nicki: I will
V”vampiria”V

Bruce: k. G’night

Nicki: Thanks. Ill talk to you later. Goodnight
V”vampiria”V